


Baby Blue (on indefinite hiatus)

by MADOSQUAD



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: M/M, Set in California, Sugar Daddy AU, try two
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 06:42:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 38,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6743533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MADOSQUAD/pseuds/MADOSQUAD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drink is exactly what law-student-turned-art-major Ciel Phantomhive needs when his wealthy father cuts him off financially and family-wise. The bar is definitely to Alois' tastes, with dim lighting, cheap shots, and a man with titillating eyes that keeps staring at Ciel. Sebastian Michaelis is gorgeous (and rich, obviously), but this is supposed to be a casual fling - however, when Sebastian offers Ciel an arrangement of sorts - a steady allowance and a place to stay in exchange for company and occasional services - their relationship quickly changes from a need for money to a need for more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> yes! i'm back with the trash - this is round 2 of me trying to write a sugar daddy so i hope that this one is better than the last. hope you're all doing well and don't hate me too much for this.
> 
> enjoy
> 
> much love xoxo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad news and a fated meeting.

His father's eyes are absolutely venomous - Ciel has never been this scared in his entire life. The letter on Vincent's desk might as well be a death sentence; it is a letter from King's Academy that has been in sent in to confirm Ciel's major change from law to art.

This part - this sudden death match between he and his father - hadn't been written into Ciel's plan. Originally, the plan had been to quietly change his majors without his father or mother finding out, and then continue to have his tuition paid for while pursuing a major he actually enjoyed. However, this meeting had definitely put a major kink in everything. There are two outcomes to this: 1) Ciel is killed by his father on the spot, or 2) Ciel is forced to switch his major back and might as well die anyway.

"Explain," is the first, poison-laden word that comes from Vincent's mouth, which has been tucked into a straight, hard, mean line since Ciel entered the office.

Friends of the family would always tell Ciel how much he looked like Vincent, but, looking at the volatile man before him, he fails to see it. He's always thought he looked more like Rachel: soft, small, blue eyed. 

The 22 year old takes a breath, attempting to gather his thoughts. Telling his father the truth - the truth being that he hated law with a passion and, if it were a person, would beat the living hell out of it - would cause Ciel to end up on a one way ride to six feet under. However, telling him that he sucked at law would be equally as bad. Ciel wants to tear his hair out and eat it in front of Vincent, showing the man how mentally unstable the mere thought of law makes him.

However, Ciel forgoes that action and instead, hangs his head. "I'm not good at law," he begins, taking careful note of the way Vincent's shoulders tense - danger. "I mean, I - I really like it, but I'm not meant for it." Ciel's voice edges on a whine; _is that my voice?_  Heat pricks in his throat and Ciel has to swallow away whatever threatens to come up and out of him. 

Vincent's eyes, dark brown and deadly, narrow as Ciel digs the hole deeper and deeper. "So," he interrupts, making Ciel pause in his hurried, nervous monologue, "what I'm to understand from this little... show, is that all this time, you've hated studying law?"

_YES!_

"Absolutely not," Ciel says, sweat seeping into his shirt collar. Had he accidentally let slip that law is a major created by the devil? Had he said that he threw his - completely paid for - law textbooks into the fountain in King's courtyard? Ciel goes dizzy with thought but manages to keep upright. "Law and I just don't mesh together well. It's nothing I have against it." He chews at a piece of pulled up skin on his bottom lip. "I didn't think you'd be so upset."

Bad idea.

Vincent stands at the speed of light, sending his chair flying backwards where it tips over. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he yells, startling Ciel into jumping back, more terrified of his father than he had been when the man caught him and Alois smoking weed on the back porch as juniors in high school. "You didn't think I would be upset? Ciel, I cash out $40,000 a semester, and you don't think I'd be upset?!" Spit pools in the corners of Vincent's mouth. Ciel steps back again, like the man is a rottweiler or a horror movie villain or an STD report. 

"I can't go back to law," he murmurs weakly, fingers catching in the front of his shirt. "It makes me miserable." Once the words are out of Ciel's mouth, he wants the carpeted floor to open up and swallow him whole, crushing all of his bones with its tasseled teeth. 

Vincent's left brow twitches - if he had begun to believe Ciel's rambling at all, he definitely doesn't now.

"Miserable?" he says, voice just above a whisper, teeth glinting in the low light of day. It's nearly 7 in the evening - Ciel's classes begin at 11 and end at 6 - and the sun is just starting to set. "Is that so? Well, Ciel, if it made you so miserable, why didn't you just say so?" He stoops to pick his chair back up and settles back into it. "However, if you feel that you can't - rather, won't go back to law, you may as well not come back home when you leave for school tomorrow." 

The smile on his father's face is anything but friendly, and Ciel's stomach plummets to his knees so quickly that he almost dry-heaves all of the over Persian rug. "What - what do you mean?"

Vincent sighs, like explaining is a burden. "If you don't plan to continue on with your studies in law, I don't plan to continue funding your college tuition or your cell phone bill or your car payments or gas or anything else. As of now, there is no longer a place for you here. I'm going to cancel your bank account and anything else that we fund for you. Is that understood?"

Tears swell at the back of Ciel's eyes, but he is not going to give his father the satisfaction of seeing him cry. "So - so I'm, I'm not welcome here anymore? Am I kicked out? Without even an eviction notice? You can't do that!" Again, his voice strains in his throat - weak, sad, little Ciel.

"I can, and I am doing it. Consider this your eviction notice. You have time to gather some clothes and other necessities, but I expect you out of the house by 8 o'clock. Is that understood?" he repeats, voice lacking room for a question. Vincent stands again, slowly this time, and rounds the room to where Ciel sits. "I'd hurry, if I were you. And I wouldn't speak to your mother about this little meeting. She's very upset right now."

Ciel rockets out of the chair that he's been sitting in and tears out of the room, not wanting to spend another second breathing in the same air as Vincent. Before the man has the chance to deactivate his phone, he pulls it out and calls the only person that will come to his aid no matter what: Alois.

The blond leech picks up as soon as Ciel is safely in his room, shoving clothes into a suitcase that he only uses for vacations. "Hello?" His voice is groggy and Ciel mentally curses himself. Alois goes to night school for a major in English - he goes to work in the morning, sleeps during the afternoon, and then leaves for school at 9 o'clock. "Ciel, babe? You there?"

Ciel sighs, shoulders the phone, and continues to shove things into his suitcase. "Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up-"

"It's fine," Alois yawns, and Ciel can hear him sit up in bed. "My professor has mono, so we all get school off until he comes back or we get a sub. What's up?" The care in Alois' voice - which is sometimes hard to pinpoint, but Ciel knows how to do it better than anyone else - nearly brings Ciel to tears, and he has to clear his throat before he can speak.

"I, uh - can I crash at your place tonight? And maybe the next few days? My dad, he found out about my major change, and he cut me off." Ciel breathes out a laugh and the tears he had managed to keep at bay in Vincent's office overflow, streaking down his cheeks. "He kicked me out; I don't have anywhere else to go."

There is a clatter from the other end of the phone - Alois has most likely fallen out of bed, judging from the way he's yelling and cursing loudly. "You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me! Are you at home right now? Nevermind, don't answer that. Just - get your ass outside, okay? I'm coming to get you." 

Ciel doesn't have the time to say anything else because the line clicks dead, and when he pulls the cell phone away from his ear, the screen is black. _Bastard_. He takes a deep breath and chucks the phone at the wall, where it explodes into a million, useless pieces. After taking a moment to calm down, Ciel zips up his suitcase and travels silently down the stairs, afraid of running into anyone, especially his mother.

He makes it to the front door when he hears a soft gasp behind him, and Ciel's heart hangs heavy in his chest. If he turns around, he will lose it all, and he will destroy the house. 

"Mom," Ciel manages to say, still not looking at her, "I can't take a goodbye. Just, let me leave, okay?" He wants to run to her, wants to press his face against her chest and take in her scent as he has done every time he got upset as a child. 

There is a sniffling sound behind him, and then a quiet, "okay. I love you. Be careful, sweetheart." That is a goodbye if he's ever heard one, and Ciel pushes the front door open, slipping out of his home for the last time in his life. 

Alois is already waiting in the circle driveway when Ciel makes it past the hedges, dragging his wheeled suitcase behind him. His car is an absolute deathtrap: an old, decrepit Mazda 6 that sounds like an excited 5 year old when Alois presses on the gas a little too hard. His eyes, bright blue and always wide, are pointedly narrowed at the manor standing behind Ciel. "Why didn't you burn it down?" he asks when Ciel is in earshot, voice edging on a snarl.

Ciel shoves his suitcase into the back seat and then slips into shotgun, rubbing at his eyes. "Can't. My mom's inside." He sighs heavily, and then looks at Alois. "Thank you for coming to get me. It - it really means a lot."

Alois snorts and punches Ciel in the arm. "Don't get all sentimental on me, Phantomhive! I'm only doing this because of the time you picked me from that creepy guy's house when me and Claude were on the offs again." His smile softens as he puts the deathtrap in drive. "Plus, I hate Vincent. I always told you that he was a bad guy."

Ciel takes another deep breath. "Look, I just want to go back to Aria and get some shut eye."

In the driver's seat, Alois winces and fiddles with the radio that only picks up static and two classical music channels. "I don't live in Aria anymore," he says quickly, eyes on the road.

"Huh?" Ciel glances at Alois, eyes wide. "But you loved Aria! It was so nice! Where are you living now?"

Alois grimaces. "The Eaves. But - that doesn't matter! You're not taking a nap, you're getting a drink with me!" He hits the steering wheel with the flat on his palm, eliciting a weak laugh from Ciel.

"You're kidding me, right? How am I gonna buy a drink? I'm broke. I never carry cash with me, you know that." He pushes a hand through his raven locks and sighs for the millionth time in the past hour. 

The blond shakes his head, still smiling. "Look, I know this great little place out in Artesia. I know the manager and, let's face it, most of the staff. I'll get it all worked out, honeypot. Just, take it easy, okay? We can just go get a drink and... forget the world for a little bit." Without taking his eyes off the road, Alois frees a hand to reach over and squeeze Ciel's thigh. "We'll be okay, babe. I promise."

Ciel takes a breath, trying to free up the weight that's crushing his chest. A drink. A drink sounds absolutely fuckin' perfect.

-

 The bar is definitely more Alois' tastes than Ciel's: dim lighting, silver high-top tables, a black marbled bar that stretches from wall to wall. Like Alois had mentioned, he knows everyone and everyone knows him. They are welcomed like kings and led over to a cluster of leather chairs before being brought a series of drinks. 

Alois monopolizes the vodka, leaving Ciel stuck with Jack and Coke - one of his favorite since Alois introduced it to him in sophomore year at one of his creepy uncle's parties. 

"See, kitten," Alois says after his third shot, "I told you that we'd be okay." His eyes, pupils dilated now, slide somewhere past Ciel's head, and Alois smirks slightly, teeth glinting in the low-lighting of the bar. "You want another drink?" 

Ciel grimaces, tipping back the second shot of Jack that he had been previously nursing. "Nah," he gets past clenched teeth, "I think I'm okay for now."

His best friends snorts unbecomingly, icy eyes slipping backwards again. "Lightweight."

"What do you keep looking at?" Ciel inquires, tilting his head ever so slightly. "There can't be anything more interesting than me and the sad shambles that my life is in right now."

Again, Alois snorts. "You always want to talk about you, don't you?" He leans forward smoothly, resting a hand on Ciel's leg - a little too close to his crotch for comfort. His lids droop seductively and Alois' lips turn up into a smirk. "Don't look now, but there's a guy at the bar that's look at you at least one hundred times since we got here."

Despite Alois' words, Ciel begins to twist around in the direction of the bar, only for the blond to squeeze Ciel's leg. He yelps and glares at him. "What was that for, you... dick?"

"I told you not to look; Christ, it's like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall. You lose all your money and all of sudden it's like you've forgotten how to do anything." Alois exhales loudly - like the dramatist he is - and leans back in his chair. "Okay, you can look now. You definitely can't miss him, all tall, dark, and handsome. Black hair, black suit, hypnotic eyes."

Ciel mimics the snort that Alois has been releasing all night. "I guess I'll have to see for myself." He twists in the chair slowly, scanning all of the people at the bar until his eyes lock onto a pair of dark - brown? he can't tell - eyes that widen, narrow, and then dart away. 

"Holy shit."

"Right?" Alois' voice pulls Ciel away from the stranger and back to reality. "Go for it, tiger. He's attractive, and he's definitely interested in you." He slides Ciel a shot of whiskey across the table. "Liquid courage. I don't need you chickening out on me halfway through."

Ciel breathes hard through his nose and then takes the shot, squinting hard when it burns down the back of his throat. "Jesus - how can you drink that stuff? Okay, okay. I'm gonna go talk to Mr. Hot. Who knows, maybe he'll buy me a drink." He lifts his eyebrows in a flirtatious manner and gets up, heading over to the bar where the man sits.

He slides up, with a little effort, into the tall bar stool and grabs a menu, pretending to be thoroughly interested in its contents. When the bartender, whose nametag reads 'Ronald' and whose glasses look as if they're streaked with cum - disgusting, passes, Ciel orders something called an Angel Delight, with extra cherries. The drink is made and brought to him shortly, only to be withheld. 

"Drinks have to be paid for before we can give them to the customer," Ronald says, fingers at the stem of the drink's glass. "It's gonna be $10.45." 

Ciel's mouth goes dry and he is ready to get down from the stool, to tell the guy to forget it, but a voice interrupts any of his from happening.

"$11 for a drink?" The man beside him, Mr. Hypnotic Eyes, has finally spoken, and his voice sends a jolt straight into Ciel's groin. He has to shift in the chair to get comfortable again, but it is all ruined when the stranger speaks again. "Is it going to make his dreams come true?"

Ciel turns his head, catches the man's eyes, which is when he smiles, dark eyes going back to the bartender. "Bring me two more, yeah?" He pulls out a wallet, stuffed fat with bills, and slides a few them onto the bar's top. A silver watch glints at his wrist, which Ciel notes is Ferragamo. _Fancy_. He allows his eyes to trace over the man's features: a long, straight nose, lofty cheekbones, and black hair a bit longer than most men wore theirs during the warmer months. 

"So," he says cautiously, catching the man's attention, "do you always buy drinks for strangers in bars?"

The man turns, ever so slightly, to face Ciel, which is when he notices that the stranger's eyes are not brown, but instead some shade of red, almost like wine. He smiles, displaying straight, even teeth. "Only the cute ones. But, who said I was buying a drink for you?"

The casual manner in which the man's remark had come off makes Ciel want to play, want to roll around at his feet as if he were a dog. "Are you saying that I'm not cute? Am I really to believe that you don't find me cute, even though you and I both know that you've been ogling me since I arrived?" He smiles back, reaches for one of the drinks, and sticks the straw in his mouth, sucking gently and never breaking eye contact.

"You caught me," he responds, swirling whatever's in his glass. "You are very cute. Do you come here often?"

Ciel lifts one of his shoulders in a half shrug. "I was actually forced to come here by my friend," he explains, nodding to Alois. "I'm a bit... down on my luck, if you will, and he decided that what I needed was to get absolutely drunk." He scoffs quietly and plucks a cherry out of his drink, biting it off at the stem. "Do _you_ come here often?"

The man takes a sip of his drink and mimics the shrug. "I come here occasionally, after a long day of work. However, I'm sure you and your friend have better plans than pestering some old man."

Ciel lets out a little bark of a laugh; what a crock. "Old? Please, you can't be a day over 25. Besides, he just wanted me to stop being miserable over my recent shortcomings, and everyone knows that drinking with strangers brings out the best in everyone." He shifts slightly so that his knee bumps into the man's. "So, Mr. Opulent, do you have a name, or something I can call you?"

The man chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning forward. Their knees are still touching. It is not an intimate touch, but heat still pools in Ciel's belly just the same. Maybe it's the alcohol, he can't tell anymore. "I don't know - Mr. Opulent has a sort of ring to it, don't you think so?"

Ciel bites off another cherry, chewing carefully. "Oh, come on, can't you tell me? It's not like I'm asking for you number or anything." He actually had full intentions of getting the man's number, but it could certainly wait until he at least knew his name.

"Well, that's funny, because I was actually going to ask for your number, but if you don't want mine, I suppose I can just forget it," the man jokes softly, pushing the second drink towards Ciel. "If you must know, my name is Sebastian. May I ask yours?"

Ciel tries not to think about how thick the man's - Sebastian's fingers are. Instead, he screws his face into a sneer. "You're right, Mr. Opulent sounds much better. I think I had a dog named Sebastian once." He rolls a cherry around in his mouth, making sure his tongue is visible for just a second. "And if you must know," he mimics, "my name is Ciel." He twists around to look for Alois - who seems to be missing. The blond is no longer sitting among the cluster of chairs. "Oh, shoot," Ciel murmurs quietly as he attempts to straighten back up, feeling much more drunk than he had before.

"What's the matter?" Sebastian asks, tilting his head in a way that Ciel finds absolutely attractive. 

He makes a face, bottom lip poking out. "I think my ride left," Ciel murmurs, looking up at Sebastian through his lashes. It's dark outside now, and he doesn't have anywhere to go. He doesn't know what he wants from this man, but Ciel knows that it's more than a couple of drinks, that's for sure. He leans forward so that their noses are nearly touching, voice just a whisper. "What am I gonna do now?"

Sebastian's lips pull up into a smile, displaying his white bathroom tile teeth. "I have an idea of what _we_ could do," he offers, eyes dark and seductive and Ciel wants to bask in the stare for the rest of his life. "If you wanted to come home with me, that is."

"I'd like that very much," Ciel responds, biting his bottom lip. "I'd like to go home with you." He reaches for the third and final drink when a hand creeps onto the small of his back, subtle and slowly tracing circles against the fabric of his shirt. Without speaking or acknowledging the hand on his body, Ciel pops an entire cherry into his mouth, stem and all, and rolls it around his mouth - when he sticks his tongue out, the stem is tied into a knot.

The older man that he had met not even an hour ago suddenly slips from the bar stool, fingers tight around his thin wrist. "I'm taking you home, right now. We have plenty of ideas to run through."


	2. TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian is incredible in bed. Also, seems to like making breakfast for his one night stands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yyyyyessssssss i'm so pleased that you all like this one! i really am sorry about abandoning sweet tooth - i just didnt feel it in my heart in the way that i did bld. i think this one will be much better, and i hope that you all stick with me throughout this journey. 
> 
> love all of you tremendously
> 
> enjoy
> 
> much love xoxo

By the time they get out of the bar, Ciel has almost completely forgotten how to walk: he is like a baby giraffe or a model trying to strut in too-tall heels. The third drink was definitely a bad idea in retrospect, but his drunkenness keeps Sebastian at his side. He nearly slips when he misses one of the steps out to the parking lot, resulting in Sebastian having a slip an arm around his waist, supporting him as if they were a couple at a prom after party, drunk and horny. 

Sebastian leads Ciel over to a car that he quickly decides he wants to have sex in: a sleek, black XJL Jaguar that could have Ciel on his knees in .25 seconds. "You're very impatient," he chuckles when the younger male tries (for the third time) to stick his tongue into Sebastian's mouth. "I promise you, I don't live far from here. It won't take us long to get back to my house."

He helps Ciel into the car, gets into the driver's seat, and then grunts when Ciel tries to climb over the center console into his lap. "C'mon, kid," he murmurs, gently settling Ciel back into his seat and buckling the 22 year in, quickly kissing him hard on the mouth, licking against Ciel's teeth. "Ten minutes and I promise I'll let you do whatever you want."

Ciel groans twice: once, as a response, and twice, when Sebastian drives out of the parking lot in a manner that throws him against the car door, straining against the triangle embrace of the seat belt. "You better be this rough in bed, or I'm going to be royally pissed," he whines, head lolling drunkenly in a circle. "But I just want you to, y'know, do whatever _you_ want to me." He's definitely drunk now, slurring his words, and Ciel has begun to wonder if his tongue is still part of his mouth. 

"Okay, okay," Sebastian says, stealing a glance at Ciel, who crosses his arms, head turned to one side like a sullen child. "But I must warn you, my tastes are a little... more than what most people are into."

Rolling his eyes and nearly laying on the center console, Ciel giggles unbecomingly. "Are your tastes unconventional? Do you have a Christian Grey room full of whips and paddles and shit?" He watches, with muted arousal, Sebastian lift one brow, cerise eyes panning out against the street. His lips curl into a smile, and the older man breathes out a laugh.

"No, unlike Christian, everything I do with someone else is consensual. You don't want to do something, I won't force you. If you want to do something, we explore it. It also goes the same way. If I don't want to do something, it's out of the question. If I want to do it, it's on the table for discussion." He swings the steering wheel in a lazy circle, pulling up into a long street dotted by seemingly million-dollar mansions.

Ciel sinks lower into his seat, head spinning. "I want your dick in my mouth," he says quietly, eyes turned up to the roof of the car.

A chuckle comes from his side, and Ciel glances briefly at Sebastian, enthralled by the way his eyes glint in the darkness. "That can definitely be arranged. We're here, by the way." He pushes the door open, and Ciel struggles to rise out of his seat, peering out the window of the car.

A large, Victorian style house rests before his eyes, effortlessly elegant, fitted all over with big windows and a small balcony off to its left. The front yard is neatly trimmed, and the small garden nestled into two circular holes on each side of the house add a personal touch that Sebastian definitely did not do by himself. Ciel is still sitting the car in quiet awe when Sebastian knocks on the window, startling him out of his reverie of his previous life.

"It's beautiful," he says quietly when Sebastian pulls his door open. 

A pair of strong arms slips around him, pulling the 22 year old up and out of the car, making his head sway with drunkenness. "I didn't know you were so interested in architecture," the hot son of a bitch teases, a smile on his face. "Just until recently, you were very adamant on letting me have my way with you. Has that changed?"

"It definitely hasn't changed," Ciel all but shrieks, trying to escape from Sebastian's grip. "You definitely also don't have to carry me!" Despite his loud voice, Ciel's fingers curl against Sebastian's surprisingly hard chest, trying to suppress the blush that attempts to crawl into his cheeks. "I'm not a princess, I can handle a walk up to a house."

Sebastian chuckles, a sound that rumbles against Ciel's hands, and he sets Ciel down. "All right, if you can handle it, lets see you make it to the stairs." The smile he wears tells Ciel that failure is inevitable, but Ciel doesn't want to be proven wrong by this hot, cocky, rich, stranger.

He takes a deep breath and takes a few steps up the driveway, moving as gracefully as a baby giraffe, before his left foot hits his right ankle and he takes a tumble - a harmless one, but a tumble nonetheless. Ciel turns his eyes up to a grinning Sebastian, and then sighs, hanging his head. "Fine. Carry me?" Admitting defeat is almost bitter, but the feeling of Sebastian's body pressed against his is hot in a non-sexual way.

Together, without speaking, they make it up to the house - which Sebastian had foolishly (and probably purposely) unlocked - and Ciel is in awe when they make it past the threshold of the front door. It's a thousand times nicer than his ex-house, much cooler and more suited to a bachelor's lifestyle (Ciel assumed that Sebastian didn't have any wives or secret lovers tucked away, waiting to catch them in the act): long leather couches, paintings that Ciel are sure would be colorful if they were not drenched in darkness, and a large flat screen television that casts their reflection as they pass it.

The next room they pass through is the kitchen, dimly lit, with marble counter tops, chrome appliances, and big windows. Ciel drunkenly makes a note of the big knife block settled on the island, just in case Sebastian turns out to be a mass murderer whose prime victims are financially bad-off, horny, drunk college students.

"How fucking big is your house?" Ciel whines, head settling against Sebastian's neck. "Are you overcompensating for something? Am I going to be sadly disappointed when you whip it out?" He pokes out his bottom lip in false sadness, and for the millionth time since they've met, Sebastian chuckles. The sound resonates deep within Ciel's stomach and he squirms in Sebastian's grip, hungry, hot.

They climb the stairs and make it to a door in which Sebastian kicks open easily, making it bounce against the wall for a few seconds. Once Sebastian allows Ciel back onto shaky legs, he quickly kicks off his shoes, pulls off his socks, pants, shirt, and underwear like a man on fire. He stands in Sebastian's darkened bedroom as naked as the day he was born, suddenly shy.

Sebastian breathes out a scoff, sidestepping Ciel to open a drawer on a dresser than Ciel can't exactly make out in the dark. The only light that illuminates Sebastian's features and the faint outline of the bed is the streetlight from outside that seeps in through the curtains. "Impatient, aren't we?" he asks while rummaging through the drawer's contents.

Ciel crosses his arms over his chest, upset to have brushed aside like that. "Of course, I am. You've been talking me up all night, buying me drinks, getting me drunk on purpose, and now you're making me wait! I've been very adamant on you fucking me since we left the bar - hell, even before that! What on earth are you looking... for." His grimace relaxes when Sebastian turns around with a pair of silver handcuffs dangling from his index finger. 

 "Really?" Ciel's lips turn up into a sneer. "Handcuffs? What, are we in junior high? I'm sure you've got kinkier shit in your closet or under your bed or somewhere." 

There is a beat of deafening silence; Sebastian's eyes, hardly visible in the dark, go absolutely deadly, and Ciel steps backwards, suddenly afraid. He thinks about the knife block and thinks about how hard it would be to run down the stairs while drunk and with his dick flapping around. He goes hard when Sebastian crosses the room towards him, a smile that is not nice on his face. 

"You told me that I was allowed to do what I wanted," he says in a quiet voice; he is the master in this moment, he is the commander of everything. "And I don't want you to use your hands while you suck my dick. Is that all right?" Sebastian circles Ciel and clicks the handcuffs into place. 

Ciel nods, mouth dry. "Yes, sir," he agrees, suddenly the role of the obedient sub, patient and quietly needy. 

"I like you better when you're being smart," Sebastian says, circling back around in front of Ciel and beginning to unbutton his slacks. This action seems to take forever, and by the time the zipper gets to its last set of teeth, Ciel is on his knees, and the "good boy" that slips from Sebastian's mouth nearly makes Ciel cum right then and there.

He hooks his thumbs into the belt loops of his slacks and pulls them down in a slow, agonizing motion, one that pulls a sigh from Ciel's mouth.

"Can you hurry up?" he breathes, staring up at Sebastian. "I'm getting real bored here."

Sebastian's pants fall to his ankles and he steps out of them, his boxers following suit. His cock is a good size - not too long, not too thick. It curves proudly, straight and only slightly to the left, and something silver, a small silver barbell, glints snugly beneath the head of his dick.

Ciel would've laughed, had he not already already slid forward to take the dick in his mouth. Almost automatically, Sebastian's hands tangle in Ciel's hair, his head hanging back. In between moans, he manages to get out, "if I - oh God - hurt you, Iiiiii want you to tell me." 

Instead of answering, the flat slick of Ciel's tongue stripes up the underside of Sebastian's cock, from base to tip. He squirms to get closer, nearly tired of the handcuffs. His arms lay limp behind his back, and he is forced to rely only on his mouth and tongue to get Sebastian off. The cock touches the hollow of his cheek and spit pools past Ciel's lips in a way he's sure would be unsightly if the lights were on, but Sebastian doesn't seem to notice. He threads his fingers into Ciel's hair, holding the younger male in place as he licks and sucks and teases. And _Jesus Christ_ , can he tease.

"Shit," Sebastian hisses, letting his fingers untangle from Ciel's hair. Blue eyes slide up to meet red and warmth blooms throughout Sebastian stomach when the mouth comes back to his dick, suddenly much more throat than Sebastian had previously experienced. Holy shit. _Holy shit_. He's getting deepthroated, _deepthroated_ but this lusty, willing, horny angel.

Suddenly, he pulls away from Ciel, much less gracefully than he had planned to. Spit spills from Ciel's mouth, and he's irritated about being interrupted so quickly. "The fuck is wrong with you-" he begins, only to fall silent when he sees the lusty, slightly intense smile on Sebastian's face.

"Get on the bed," Sebastian commands, in control again, helping Ciel up by the nape of his neck. "I want you on your stomach with your ass in the air. If you don't want that, however-"

"Can you - can you just fuck me, already?" Ciel, like the good boy he is pretending to be, climbs onto the bed, but his mouth betrays his obedience. He lets out a small, humorless laugh, sinking into a position that puts his ass on display, even in the darkness of the room. "Also, nice cock piercing, by the way. You look like a fucking frat boy." He's not trying to be mean - Ciel is tired of having his hands behind his back, he wants Sebastian to fuck him, and he wants him to do it now.

From somewhere behind him, Sebastian rifles through a drawer, taking an agonizingly long time to find whatever he's looking for. Ciel grits his teeth. "I hate you," he whines, voice breaking in the middle of his complaint. "Thanks to your stupid fucking handcuffs I can't even jerk off." His voice strains in his throat, and Ciel can hear Sebastian chuckle and shut the drawer.

"You're very impatient," he teases, and Ciel can feel him cross over to the bed, slow as marmalade. 

His fingers are on Ciel's skin without warning, long digits ice cold against his thighs. Ciel takes a breath in, sucking it in through his teeth. "I'm not impatient. I'm tired of waiting for you to fuck me. I've been nothing but adamant on you- _oh_." Something cold and wet presses into Ciel, working him open. 

Sebastian's finger creates a pace that has Ciel bearing backwards, groaning and rolling his hips to get more friction. "A-add another finger, would you?" Ciel asks, hands curled into fists behind his back.

"Are you asking me?" Sebastian questions, and Ciel can hear the small pant in his breath. "I thought you were being adamant. I like it much more when you're being crude; you've got such a colorful mouth." He works in another finger, moving them in a way that makes Ciel stifle a groan and bury his face in the sheets. His wrists ride up on his back, making the chain connecting them jingle slightly. "If you want something, you have to tell me what you want. I'm not a mind reader."

Ciel's eyes nearly roll into the back of his head and he has to keep from drooling all over the sheets when he speaks, pleads. "I - I want you to fuck me until I can't walk! Until I forget my own name!" His clenched together teeth bring the taste of blood into his mouth, and in the time it takes Ciel to swallow, he is emptied and then refilled by something much thicker and fuller than fingers. Ciel can feel their bodies go flush and the small bumps of the barbell beneath the condom.

Sebastian quickly finds a pattern that forces Ciel's mouth open into a constant pant, his drool wetting a spot on the bed. The man behind him grabs onto the bridge of the handcuffs, forcing Ciel's back up into an arch, his free hand venturing forward to reach into Ciel's mouth, slipping past his teeth and towards his tongue. Spit spills around the digits, and Ciel sucks almost greedily on them, speaking as they stay in his mouth.

"I'm - I'm gonna cum," he manages to get out, wrists jingling together behind his back as Sebastian's rhythm becomes more and more controlled, more powerful. The older male makes a sound of acknowledgement but does not slow his pace, picks it up instead. The sound of skin on skin becomes deafening and tears well in Ciel's eyes. "Bastard," Ciel breathes as Sebastian's fingers move from his mouth to his throat, holding him tightly in place as he pounds into him.

There is nothing intimate about this - this sex is a representation of what they are; drunken, animal-like strangers. They are not long lost lovers, or childhood friends. Ciel is nothing more than a toy right now, being bounced around like a ragdoll by this hunky, rich man, a black-hearted bastard with a golden cock.

"You wanna cum?" Sebastian asks, the smirk evident in his voice. "If you want something, you have to tell me want you want," he repeats, earning a whine from Ciel.

No longer trying to hang on to any shreds of composure he may have had, Ciel's mouth hangs open, voice coming out loudly. "I want to cum!" he cries, hair becoming the object of affection for Sebastian's ever wandering hand, "and I want you to cum, too! Just - God, just let me cum!"

In a flash, without slipping out of Ciel, Sebastian pulls him around so that they are face to face, narrowed red eyes to big wet blue ones. Neither of them speak as they fuck, melting against one another into a collision of teeth and tongues and finally, warmth spreads throughout Ciel's body as he cums, hard and all over Sebastian's chest.

When they separate, everything is sticky and quiet. Ciel, with his hands still behind his back, watches Sebastian stand up slowly, tie the condom, and trash it. The older man moves towards a door that leads to a bathroom. Yellow light floods beneath the door, and Ciel listens to the soft sound of running water.

He has overstayed his welcome. Sebastian's sudden departure has proved this; Ciel understands how these kind of meetings work: get fucked, get out. No hard feelings, no strings attached. Ciel has seen it in every rom-com movie ever made, and this time is just like those. 

Ciel straightens up as best he can when Sebastian returns, dressed now in a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, carrying a damp towel. He makes a short detour at the set of drawers nestled against the wall, and rummages around. The light from the bathroom illuminates Sebastian's sharp, ethereal features as he makes his way over to Ciel, something silver glinting in his fingers: the keys to the handcuffs.

Without speaking, he leans over Ciel carefully, unlocking the cuffs and ruffling his hair before pulling back. "You're holding up quite well," he says, returning the keys to its safe little hiding spot. "You can borrow a shirt of mine to sleep in, if you'd like."

"I can leave," Ciel hurriedly gets out, body tensing. He has never been so aware of his own body before, never been so aware of his surroundings. Ciel can feel every nerve in his overly sensitive, sore body, and can hear every sound there is to hear. He shifts in the bed, wincing at the sound of his skin sliding against the sheets.

"It's nighttime," Sebastian counters softly, his voice leaving no room for argument. "You came here in my car, and even if you managed to walk back to the bar, someone could definitely scoop you up and take you against your will." He turns around, eyes finding Ciel's in the low light. "If you're really that against it, however, I guess I can't change your mind." With towel in hand, Sebastian kneels and carefully begins to wipe between Ciel's sore thighs. 

Ciel's mouth goes dry. This only happens in the rom-coms where the boy and the girl end up together. He fights back the tears that threaten to foolishly well in his eyes. "I can really stay?" Ciel asks quietly as Sebastian stands, turning his head for a fraction of a second, a small smile on his face.

"Of course. It would be an honor to have someone as exquisite as you grace my bed." Sebastian pads back into the bathroom to deposit the towel and returns with a shirt and Ciel's boxers. "So, would you like to stay?"

 _I don't have anywhere else to go,_ Ciel almost says, but instead, he opts for a nod, reaching for the clothes. "Yes, please."

"Then stay." 

-

The smell of bacon and coffee is the first thing that greets Ciel, and he is briefly visited by an image of his mother, who has made breakfast every morning for as long as he could remember, but as he looks around the room, Ciel is reminded that he is not at home. No, this room is much larger and brighter than his is, with a large window on the left wall, and a balcony just behind it. The sheets on the bed are silken and smell like sweat. This is definitely not his room.

Ciel slowly slides out of bed; his entire body screams against the action, and Ciel comes to realize that he's wearing only his boxers and a shirt that also doesn't belong to him. There are red marks around his wrists, and the insides of his thighs feel as if they're on fire every time he moves. 

He manages to slide down the stairs, thinking about last night. It is mostly just a vague, drunken blur, but Ciel remembers the fight with his father, going to the bar with Alois, and then leaving with someone. He cannot remember a face or name, only red eyes and black hair.

 _Something with an S_ , he thinks.  _Something nautical. Sea bass. Seneca Falls Convention._

When he makes it to the bottom of the stairs, Ciel catches sight of a tall, clean looking man wearing the remnants of a suit standing before the oven, poking around at something in a pan with a spatula. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbow, and Ciel suddenly has an epiphany: Sebastian. 

"Good morning," the man in question says without looking at Ciel, flipping the pan's contents around. It smells like heaven to his empty stomach, and Ciel has to swallow to keep from drooling. "How did you sleep?"

"Like a baby," Ciel responds, watching Sebastian intensely. He slides up onto one of the bar stools, folding his arms against the counter. "So do you always make breakfast for your one night stands?"

Sebastian chuckles, finally looking over at Ciel. "Only the cute ones. How do you like your eggs?"

Ciel straightens up, chewing on his bottom lip. "I usually only eat egg whites, but I like them scrambled too." He leans back in the chair, arms folded over his chest. "You're awfully nice for a one night stand. Do you have any ulterior motives I should know about?" 

Sebastian cracks a few eggs into the pan and chuckles over the hiss of sizzling liquid. "I can't get anything past you, can I? I wouldn't exactly call it an ulterior motive, but I feel like you're the kind of person that deserves to be treated well." He pushes the eggs back and forth slowly, dark eyes focused on his work. "You don't seem to find any of this odd," he says offhandedly, picking up the pan to divide the eggs onto two plates. "You don't know anything about me, and yet here you are, eating breakfast in my home like you belong here."

Ciel takes the plate that Sebastian offers him and watches as the older male settles by the island and eats standing up. He pokes at the eggs and then settles on a piece of bacon instead. "You're right," he begins, tearing off the end with his back molars, trying to look as regal as he can while displaying massive bedhead and wearing someone else's shirt. "Well, then, I have two standard questions for you: how old are you, and what do you do for a living?"

From the island, Sebastian chuckles, breathes heavily. "You really don't beat around the bush, huh?" He straightens up and looks into his half empty coffee cup. "Well, I'm a divorce lawyer, I help couples settle who gets what and what goes where. Sometimes it's a clean break, and sometimes it's messy."

Ciel chews thoughtfully on the eggs, still eyeing Sebastian warily. "What about your age? I think, you know, since we've slept together, I should at least know how old you are."

There's a pause, a beat of silence. Sebastian takes a drink of coffee and then sighs again. "I'm 32," he says bluntly, turning his eyes to Ciel, heavily lidded crimson orbs glinting in the kitchen's fluorescent lighting. "I'm just another one of those single, old men in Artesia with too much money and too little free time." He sighs, adjusting his cup ever so slightly. "I'm probably 10 years older than you, Ciel." Sebastian turns again, voice suddenly much more high-spirited than it had been before. "How much money do you have, Ciel?"

Ciel pokes around at his eggs and puffs out his cheeks, trying to not look at Sebastian. "Well, yesterday afternoon, before we met, my father decided that kicking me out of the house, turning off my phone, and freezing my bank account would be a good way to teach me a lesson about changing my major behind his back." He forces a little bit of a smile and scoffs. "He and I have... artistic differences, shall I say? He wanted me to be a lawyer, just like him. And, no offense, but law made me want to die."

"None taken," Sebastian says, watching Ciel carefully. "I had my fair share of mental breakdowns in my third year."

The younger male chuckles a little, scraping his fork over his plate. "Anyway, I'm pretty much on my own now, financially speaking." He shrugs his shoulders. "I guess I'm gonna stay with my friend, you know the blond one I was at the bar with, just until I get my feet back on the ground. I'll probably have to get a job, too." Ciel lifts his eyes, which glisten in the kitchen's white lighting, up from his plate to look at Sebastian. "How pathetic is that?" he laughs, tears gathering more prominently in the corners of his oceanic eyes. "An unemployed 22 year old, living off of his parents' money until recently."

"I can give you money," Sebastian suddenly interjects, hands going flat on the counter that rests just beneath the bar. His face is the most expressive that Ciel has seen it so far, even more so than when they were fucking in the darkness, eyes lit up with a kind of fire that comes from within. "I can - I can give you whatever you want. I can give you a place to stay, I can pay for your college, if you'd let me! I can take you places, and treat you to things, and, and I can give you the things that you want!"

Ciel's brows are the first to crease. They draw together, betraying his otherwise calm demeanor. He grimaces next, nostrils flaring ever so slightly. "I can't - I can't believe you." Ciel drags his hand across his eyes, and then his mouth, leaving a twisted snarl in its wake. "What do you think I am, some kind of prostitute? You think that - that just because I'm some kid you got drunk and fucked last night that you can whore me out, like I'm some cheap trick?" His voice raises a few octaves as he jumps down from the bar stool, pushing the plate of eggs down off of the bar and onto the floor below. "And for the record, your eggs are fucking runny!"

Sebastian steps around from behind the counter, reaching out to grab Ciel's arm. "No, I never considered you a -"

"Well, then why would you ask me something like that?!" Ciel shrieks, teeth grit. He's beyond pissed, and clenching his teeth together is the only thing keeping him from crying. "Paying someone to have sex with you is prostitution, in case you didn't know that! Just because I'm down on my luck doesn't mean I'm going to let you treat me like shit - would you let me go?!" 

He tries to get out of Sebastian's grip one more time, tugging as hard as he can. Tears track down his cheeks, and Sebastian manages to pull him into a hug, one arm holding him in place, his other hand stroking at his hair. "I didn't mean to upset you," he murmurs, trying to soothe the crying 22 year old. "I know that we don't know each other very well, but I don't consider you a prostitute. I think you're attractive and smart and sharp as a tack."

Ciel sniffs and manages to pull away, looking up at Sebastian. "So what do you want from me?" he asks, brows creasing again, this time more in sadness than in confused anger. 

"I want to spend more time with you," Sebastian says, a soft hint of finality to his voice. "I want to give you things and take you out and pamper you. I want to treat you in the way that you deserve to be treated." He tilts his head in a way that Ciel almost finds endearing, but there is a tinge of fear deep inside of him.

He steps back, fingers suddenly becoming an object of fiddling. "You mean, like a - like a sugar daddy?" Ciel lets out a little laugh, looking down at his feet. "I don't know what to say. This all seems so fast."

Sebastian chuckles, steps back and picks up the discarded plate of eggs. "It's all right. You don't have to give me a definite answer right now. Trust me, I understand that it's a bit much to handle, just to have someone throw someone like this at you."

"What would this... relationship consist of?" Ciel asks, perching back on the bar stool. He's much more calm now, no longer crying. "Like what we both get out of it? What would the rules be?" He tilts his head, mimicking Sebastian's action.

The older man moves towards the sink, scraping off the food into the garbage disposal before turning back around. "Well, it would be completely no strings. No feelings involved, only money and sex. You'd get to enjoy the finer things in life, and I'd get to enjoy you. You'd be able to live here with me if you wanted, or until you found somewhere else to stay. You'd be able to buy anything you wanted, and I would completely take care of your tuition." He looks at Ciel, a small smirk on his face. "I only have two rules: we will always eat dinner together, and you aren't allowed to bring any other potential relationship partner over here. This is a place for us, not anyone else. I don't mind if you bring the little blond one over here, but if I find out you two are in any kind of relationship, he's no longer allowed to come over." His eyes go sharp and Ciel flinches. "Am I understood?"

"Yes sir." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took me so long to get out! i finally graduated from high school, so i'll have much more time to write now that life's not all crazy busy with school stuff. glad you're all still here. it means a lot. (also i watched tokyo drift the other day and got the weirdest urge to write a bld sequel ? let me know if that sounds interesting or not please)


	3. THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this has taken me so long to get out. also sorry this is kind of short. ive been in a really weird depressive funk lately. make sure you guys take care of yourselves. 
> 
> love you all
> 
> enjoy 
> 
> much love xoxo

"It sounds totally weird to me," Alois says as they lay across his couch, his feet in Ciel's lap and Ciel's feet in Alois'. "I mean, you barely know the guy, and all of sudden he's like 'oh yeah, let me pay for every thing that you could ever want'. It's totally shady if you ask me." He crosses his arms, sinking lower into Ciel's lap. "However, I wish that Claude would pay for my tuition."

Alois' new apartment is much smaller than the one in Aria, a one bedroom flat with a kitchen and a small living room that are separated by half of wall that juts out awkwardly in between them. However, it is just as cluttered and hectic as Alois is: cheap, garage sale art pieces hung haphazardly on the walls, mismatched furniture he had purchased from the smokers down the street from the library he and Ciel often frequented during high school, a junky television with rabbit ears - Alois pilfers cable from his neighbors to the right, a lesbian couple that were loving and gentle and nice enough for Alois to feel almost bad about his thievery.

Ciel lets out a small scoff, shifting against the couch so that he get comfortable again. "Claude is a barista in the Barnes and Noble's Starbucks. I'm surprised he can even make rent." He digs his toes into the underside of Alois' ribs, earning a whine and a little bit more room in return. "Besides, I dunno, I'm kind of interested in him. He's endearing in this weird way and he even made me _breakfast_."

Alois grunts as he shifts around Ciel, a smirk on his face. "Oh, he made you breakfast? That's a real deal breaker, I'm sure. Honestly, you just like his money. And his dick, probably. You don't know him well enough to just jump into something like this, and I really don't want to see you get hurt again." His eyes flick downward and Alois takes a deep breath, suddenly looking much more serious than Ciel has seen him in years. "Look, you've only known him for like a day, so why don't you just, y'know, hang out with him for a little bit before you really commit to this thing, okay?"

"All right, fine!" Ciel barks, swinging his legs around the side of the couch. "I already have one mother, I don't need another." He takes a deep breath and scoots forward on the couch, reaching over the table to grab the letter opener that Alois uses to scare off late night bill collectors. "I promise that if I catch feelings, I'm gone." Ciel grits his teeth and drags the blade across his palm, hissing loudly as blood blooms beneath the line.

Alois' eyes go wide when Ciel shakes the opener at him, cupping his hand to keep the blood from spilling anywhere. "Wait, I have to do it too? You're outta your mind." 

"Yes, you have to do it! Look, this means a lot to me. Think of it as my version of that time you were in Agares' class and you-"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Alois interrupts, snatching the opener out of Ciel's hand. "I told you to never bring that up again! Fine, I'll do your shitty blood promise. Christ, this isn't fuckin' Stand by Me." He takes a deep breath in a manner that mimics Ciel, and digs the blade into his palm. "Fuck!" Alois yelps, throwing the opener away.

He holds out his hand towards Ciel, and the two males clap their palms together, blood mixing together in a sticky high five. "No feelings!" they shout together, loud enough for Alois' neighbor to the left to bang on the wall. There is a lapse of silence, and then they look at each other, wearing identical grins. "NO FEELINGS!" they shout even louder, laughing as they had as drunk teenagers still in high school, stumbling in the streets and jeering loudly at passing men that were much too old and too rich and too far away from the world that they lived in.

Ciel gets up from the couch after he's managed to collect himself and wanders over to the kitchen to rinse off his oozing, sticky palm. "He told me to call him when I had made a decision, but something tells me he's at work," he theorizes over the sound of running water, and when he turns it off, Ciel finds Alois sitting cross-legged on the island, slathering hand sanitizer up his arms. "You see, he's got a big boy job. Mr. Warbucks works as a divorce lawyer."

Alois pauses in his meticulous work, lips pulling into a sneer. "Yeah, well, do you get free grande double chocolate chip frappes from Starbucks? I didn't think so." He sighs, squeezing another pump of sanitizer into his palm. "Who am I kidding? My boyfriend's a hot loser and night school has turned me into this like, unfeeling zombie. I mean, we're supposed to get a substitute sometime this month! I don't even have time to get drunk anymore! I mean, if my liver isn't screaming at me, I certainly don't want a substitute to do it." He sighs, slumps against the island. "I'm pathetic."

"You said it, not me," Ciel replies, digging around in his pocket for Sebastian's phone number. "I think I'm just gonna call him. You know, tell him that I've made up my mind, and that he can pick me up once he's done with work." 

Still wrapped up in his own self misery, Alois sighs loudly, waggling his fingers in the direction of the wall directly behind Ciel. "Phone's over there. Don't waste my minutes though, I'm on a very strict plan."

Ciel mutters something that sounds like agreement and turns around to find the phone, slip of paper burning in between his fingers like it'll burn him if he holds onto it for too long. He takes the phone off of the wall and inhales, holding his breath as he dials the number and then presses it to his ear. The line rings once, twice, three times before it makes a clicking sound and Ciel exhales, an unusual feeling growing in his chest.

"Michaelis," the voice on the other line says, and Ciel's heart picks up into a pace that nearly startles him to death. "Hello?" After another second of silence, Sebastian's voice lowers into something deadly. "I swear, if this is Aleister again, I'm gonna kick your-"

"It's Ciel!" the 22 year old squeaks, and then clears his throat, nerves slowly exiting his body when he manages to find his voice and confidence. "I've made a decision," he says, cutting his eyes to an eavesdropping Alois, who silently slips off of the island and sulks back into the living room. "You know, about your offer."

There is a chuckle in Ciel's ear and he involuntarily shivers, shoulders going tense. "You're giving your answer very quickly; don't you want more time to think it over?" Sebastian says something offhandedly to someone that Ciel cannot see and the younger male grimaces. 

"Sorry, if I'm keeping you from your work." It's a lie; he's not sorry. Ciel wants Sebastian's attention over everyone else, and he wants it now, before anything even truly starts. "I just wanted to let you know that I wanted to take you up on your offer." Ciel swallows, glances down at his injured hand. "No feelings," he says, teeth rubbing over his bottom lip. "Just sex and money. I want to do this, Sebastian."

Ciel is silent; he can hear Sebastian take in a breath on the other end of the line and then he swallows audibly. "Are you sure about this? I'd completely understand if - yes, just set it down there -  if you needed more time to sort this all out in your head, or work things out with your little blond friend, it's understandable, Ciel." 

"I don't want to change my mind," Ciel snaps, pushing off of the counter he's been leaning on. Something about Sebastian makes it easy for Ciel to get angry, makes it easy for him to want to show the man how serious he is about this. "I don't need more time, and I don't have anything to work things out with Alois! I'm telling you that I want to do this, and it's like you don't want me to!" He exhales against the phone's speaker, a grimace stealing over his face. "Are you serious about this? Are you serious about everything that you said to me last night?" 

He knows for a fact that he's acting like a child, but Ciel can't bring himself to care. Red flashes in his eyes and the image of Sebastian, post-orgasm, all bright and glowing and wiping the cum from between his thighs, burns itself into Ciel's frontal lobe. He wants this more than anything else he's ever wanted before - more than he wanted his major change, more than he wanted to smash his father's face in with a law textbook. "I want this," he whines quietly, voice almost unrecognizable.

"You're sure? One hundred percent, absolutely sure?" 

"Yes, I'm sure!" Ciel lets out a humorless laugh, settling back into spot against the counter. "I'm agreeing to all of your rules, because I want this, Sebastian. I want to go through with this, and I want it to work. I want to make you feel good, and I want you to spoil me." He curls the cord of the phone around his finger like a love-struck teenager in an 80's movie. "I've never been more sure of something."

Once more, Sebastian chuckles into the phone, and Ciel's teeth snag into his bottom lip again. "I knew there was something special about you, Ciel. You know, I thought that you were going to be a bit of a challenge, but I didn't think that you would give in to me so easily." His voice loses its earlier worried, parental tone and takes on a bold misdemeanor. 

"You want me to be a challenge? I'll be a challenge," Ciel says, raising an eyebrow, even though he knows that Sebastian can't see him. "Pick me up when you're done with work, and I'll show you how much of a challenge I can be - and trust me, you can do a little bit worse than handcuffs." He drags his tongue across his top teeth, trying to imagine what else Sebastian might have in that magical drawer of his: whips, chains, ball gags, butt plugs.

Sebastian clears his throat, bringing Ciel back to reality, shifting in his spot. "If you have any belongings, pack them. I'm going to leave work in about ten minutes, and then I'm going to your friend's house, and I'm going to pick you up, and I'm going to take you to my home. I'll leave it up to your imagination what I'm going to do to you when we get there."

"Well, I'll keep my mind open," Ciel manages to say evenly, heat pooling in his abdomen. "He lives in The Eaves, apartment 389. Don't keep me waiting, huh?" He doesn't wait for a response, simply hangs the phone up and runs into the living room where Alois is laying on the coffee table, feet dangling off its edge. "He's coming."

Alois turns his head in Ciel's direction, face smushed against its surface. "Who, Jesus Christ?" 

Ciel makes a face, watching as Alois peels his body off of the table and maneuvers over to the couch. "No, not Jesus. He definitely wouldn't come to a place like this, first of all. It's Sebastian. He's coming to pick me up in like, fifteen minutes."

"Excuse me, I think I misheard you. You said that big cocked rich boy is coming  _here_? Tooooo... do what, exactly?"

"Pick me up," Ciel scoffs, pointedly ignoring the "big cocked" part. "Apparently he's gonna do something indescribably kinky to me once he gets me home." He begins to pull on his shoes, the beat up pair of Wingtips he slipped on before leaving his old home forever.

_Note to self_ , he thinks,  _get Sebastian to buy me new shoes._  

Alois sticks his neck out slightly, face contorted into a look made up of shock and disgust. "You mean he's actually going to come here? To my little hovel? Christ, what if things go wrong between you two and he comes here, to my shitty little apartment, and kills me?! You have to think about these kinds of things, Ciel! I gave you for more brains than that!"

Ciel leans forward, rapping his knuckles twice on the coffee table. "Don't say that kind of stuff! He's not going to kill you, Trancy. He's coming to  _your_ apartment so he can take  _me_ home so  _I_ can suck  _his_ dick." He settles back into the couch, feet up on the table. "Look, once we get used to everything, and I get Moneybags to buy me a cell phone, I'll keep you in the loop, babe." He nudges Alois playfully, leaning into him. "You know you're the only person I can actually tolerate, except for Lizzie, sometimes."

Alois grins and opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by the sing-songy ringing of the doorbell. Ciel rockets up out of his seat, nearly tripping over Alois' feet, and all but runs over to the door, trying to keep his composure when he pulls the door open.

Sebastian leans in the doorway, looking just as cool and collected as he had in the morning, a half smirk on his face. He's still wearing a suit and has switched out his Ferragamo watch for a Louis Moinet one that glints menacingly in the sunlight. He grins, straightens up. "You ready?"

Ciel swallows, nods. "Ready as I'll ever be." He steps back into the apartment to see Alois looming behind him, watching with amused eyes. 

"Give me a second," Alois says, pushing Ciel out of the way. "So, you've come to take my boy away, huh?" He gives no time for Sebastian to answer or interject in any way. "Look," Alois continues in a voice low enough for Ciel to not hear, "he's not had an easy time in life, but he trusts you, and if you hurt him, you should know that I know a lot of people who aren't the nicest." He jabs a finger into Sebastian's chest, eyes sharp, and steps back, allowing Ciel to slip past him, back over to Sebastian, eyes gleaming in a way that Alois had never seen before. 

His fingers latch onto Ciel's elbow, and blue eyes meet blue eyes. Alois' mouth goes soft, tugs into a smile. "Be careful, huh?" he asks quietly, digits tightening against Ciel's arm. "If anything happens, you know where I live." 

Ciel's heart picks up in a different way that it had when he had seen Sebastian. He steps forward and hugs Alois, his face pressed against Alois's shoulder. "I know," he murmurs, fingers digging into the blond's back. "Nothing bad will happen," he murmurs, feeling Sebastian's eyes bore into his skin, "trust me. No feelings, remember?" He steps back, smiling. "I'll see you soon, okay?" 

Sebastian's places a hand on the small of Ciel's back, a smirk on his face. "Ready?" he asks again, leading Ciel over to the sexy Jaguar once more, pulling the door open for him. 

Ciel takes a deep breath, nodding confidently. "Absolutely."

-

Sebastian's house is much nicer in broad daylight, when Ciel is not hungover or angry or crying. Its cream walls crawl three stories above and one story below, entrancing Ciel with its bright, shiny, mysterious interior. There are tons of pictures hung everywhere: pictures of family, friends, old lovers, and one picture that Ciel finds very interesting as Sebastian heads up to his bedroom to change into something more comfortable.

The picture that Ciel finds is hung up above a seemingly unused couch that he situates himself on, knees tucked beneath his body. The picture is of a younger Sebastian as a graduating senior in an emerald colored gown, a smile on his face nearly as bright as the sun, his cap somewhere high above his head. The man beside him looks exactly like Sebastian, just taller and with a sad look in his eyes, even though he is smiling. Ciel leans forward, dragging his fingers over Sebastian's illuminated features. 

"That was the worst day of my life," a voice says from behind Ciel, and the 22 year old pulls his fingers off the photo as if he's been burned by them. Sebastian's mouth is turned into a sad little smile, one that does not reach his crimson eyes. He's changed out of his suit into an old, faded shirt and a pair of basketball shorts that look off-putting on the man, for Ciel has only ever seen him in suits before. Sebastian crosses over the stiff couch and takes a seat beside Ciel, running a large hand through the younger male's raven locks.

Ciel watches Sebastian cautiously, afraid to speak and ruin this atmosphere. 

"After I graduated, my father took me home and he sat me down in our living room like he had done a million times before; he was a very serious man, my father. They'd gotten divorced when I was young and I had been bounced between their houses, back and forth, until he let me live in his house when I turned 16." Sebastian takes a deep breath, lets out a little laugh. "He told me that he had cancer, that he'd had it for a while and it was only getting worse."

There is a small pause and Ciel notices the flicker in Sebastian's eyes, short and sad. He touches at Sebastian's hand, and they look at one another, before Sebastian takes another deep breath, smiling wanly. "I moved out, on his request, because he didn't want me to see him - my father, the man I had wanted to be - waste away. The last time that I saw him, he was so small, and so tired looking, but he still smiled for me, and he made me a cup of tea, and he died a week later at the hospital."

Sebastian's wine colored eyes pick a spot on the table and he doesn't speak for a little while. He sniffs out a humorless little laugh and looks at Ciel, teeth glinting in the light. "What a good welcoming party, huh?" 

"It's okay," Ciel replies quietly, almost too afraid to look at Sebastian head on. If he looks at him now, the whole no-feelings thing will be chucked out the window like a brick. If he looks at Sebastian now, in this sad, soft,  vulnerable state, Ciel will cling onto this memory and create a gentle image of Sebastian that is just one part of him. "It's a little bit more sad than I was expecting, but I really don't mind."

The older male lifts one dark, sculpted brow and grins, the previous sad aura completely gone from him. "What were you expecting? Something more physical? Or more monetary?" He watches Ciel carefully, a low chuckle humming in his throat. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, huh? These kind of agreements have a lot of rules and boundaries and-"

"Have you had one before?" Ciel interrupts, his head tilted. There is a pang of something in his gut, and he can't tell what it is. He doesn't know if it is the lemon flavored taste of jealousy climbing up into his throat, or if its cinnamon flavored anger. "Have you scoped out a bar for sad looking boys down on their luck before? Or coffee shops, restaurants, book stores?" Heat pricks at Ciel's chest - if he was at ease before, it's definitely passed now.

Sebastian waits a moment, a beat of silence. "Just once. It lasted about a year, but then he and I both got in over our heads, and we each got hurt." His eyes dart up to the wall and then back to Ciel, who looks pointedly in the same direction. There is a picture hung up of a boy with pale brown hair, dreamy grey eyes, and a smattering of freckles across his face. He sits in front of a misty ocean, face screwed up into a smile against the gleaming sun. Ciel imagines Sebastian standing behind the camera, young and in love and scared to death of hurting this boy, his boy. Ciel imagines them going upstairs together, laughing and touching lightly and kissing beneath the sheets. He imagines the boy crying before Sebastian's front door, telling him how he feels, his voice breaking as Sebastian shuts the door, eyes downcast and soft in low lighting.

Ciel swallows, trying to blink away the fabricated scene. "No feelings," he murmurs quietly, and then licks his top teeth. "I still want to do this. Rules, boundaries, whatever. I'm in. All in, no matter what happens or changes or if you bring someone else into this arrangement. I want to do this." 

Sebastian's body tilts, straightens, he is in charge. He lifts his chin. "All in," he repeats, eyes glinting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also my laptop is officially dead - like, dead dead. it's really old and the computer doctor guys say that it'd be cheaper for me to buy a new one rather than fix the one i have now. as for right now, i'm using my dad's computer, but i'm not quite sure when i'll be able to buy a new one, so updates may still be very little, and i'm really sorry about that! i'm trying my best to get content out to you all, but i want to put out good content that i also like. please just bear with me, guys! i love you all very much and i hope you're not too mad at me.


	4. FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel meets one of Sebastian's friends, and there's some party talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew! glad i got that last chapter out. im feeling a little bit better. trying to take care of myself, yknow? i also FINALLY got a new laptop, so i'll try to update more frequently. theres also some fuckin in here, real brief, still embarrassing to write.
> 
> i hope im not making ciel and sebastian's relationship move too fast. if i am, please let me know.
> 
> hope youre all doing well. i love you all very very much
> 
> enjoy
> 
> much love xoxo

Ciel stretches as he climbs out of his shiny, clean, new car - a sleek 2016 Bugatti that could really purr when he pressed its gas a little too hard - and steps out into Sebastian's garage. He's been living in the older man's house for nearly two weeks now and has managed to get mostly everything at school in order, spent a few class periods at the on-campus studio, getting back into the feeling of painting. He pulls his bag from the passenger seat and slams the car door shut, locking it with a click of a button.

Sebastian had mentioned he would be a little late getting home, something about a nasty divorce, and that he was welcome to help himself to anything he wanted until Sebastian got home, so that they could eat dinner together. He could order 20 large pizzas and charge them all to Sebastian's credit card, and Sebastian would pat Ciel's head and then ask for a blowjob. He snickers to himself while fishing out the house key from his already cluttered ring, only to find the back door already unlocked.

He pauses for a moment, holding his breath before pushing the door open slowly. Ciel has seen Lifetime movies before, he knows how this works. The older man's car had been nowhere to be found, and Ciel remembers locking both front and back door before leaving for school this morning. "Sebastian?" he calls out hesitantly, heart leaping into his throat like a ballet dancer. He's seen break-in porn before, and knows how violent they can get. When there is no answer, Ciel calls out Sebastian's name again, shutting the door. From the living room, Ciel can hear a rustling sound, the chatter of television, and his whole body bristles. 

Slinking quietly, Ciel grabs a knife from the block in the kitchen and bursts into the living room like an actor from a bad cop drama, only to find a middle aged woman laying on the couch, elbow deep in a bag of Cheetos. Neither of them speak, only stare at one another until the woman bursts into loud, noisy laughter. She sits up, dropping the Cheetos bag onto the ground, holding her stomach as she lets out more peals of shrieking laughter. "You - the knife!" She snorts, nose wrinkling as she pants out disjointed words. "I can't - it's too much!"

"Who the fuck are you?" Ciel asks, trying to be as intimidating as he can, shaking the knife in her direction. "How did you get in here?"

The woman wipes tears from her eyes, sinking back into the couch, one arm behind her head and the other grabbing for the bag of Cheetos. "I know where Sebastian keeps his spare," she replies, finally managing to regain normal breathing. "So, I guess you're the little one I've heard so much about." She looks like she belongs here more than Ciel does, all sprawled out and eating contentedly. She's fairly pretty, with pale, freckled skin, big brown eyes, frizzy brown hair, and clothes that make her look like she's a 10 year old ballerina: a pale pink tulle skirt that is so sheer Ciel can see her cheetah print thong, and an over-sized white crop top with faint Cheeto-dusted fingerprints on it.

Ciel sets the knife on the coffee table and slides onto one of the other couches. "Well, I've never heard anything about you. Who are you? How do you know Sebastian?"

She fits another handful of the snacks into her already orange stained mouth and makes it through three chews before she starts talking. "I'm Nina," she manages to get out with a chunky Cheeto spray following after her words.

Ciel grimaces; if Sebastian knew she was so disgusting, he'd probably banish her from ever breaking in here again. "And how do you know each other?" Anger colors his tone. She has just slipped in here so easily, made herself at home, whereas Ciel has had to try, is quietly afraid of disrupting Sebastian's normal life.

"We went to middle school together. He let me cheat off of him during math tests," she says, lifting one small foot into the air before rotating her ankle loudly. "He asked me to come over when he get home from work, but I don't really like waiting." The woman -  _Nina_ \- casts a look over at Ciel, grinning ear to ear. "You're awfully cute," she says, head tilted in a way that Ciel does not appreciate. He wants her to leave, wants Sebastian to come home immediately.

"You don't need to talk to me," Ciel retorts, subtly pulling out his cell phone and tapping a quick text to Sebastian:  _When are you coming home?_ He doesn't expect an answer anytime soon, but it's nice to know that Ciel at least has his foot in the door with this whole Nina thing in case Sebastian does reply. Ciel doesn't want to have to deal with her, he wants to watch one of Sebastian's black and white movies and jack off without her here.

She sniffs mockingly, lower lip pouted out. "You're not very nice." Her doe eyes wander around the room and Nina sighs dramatically. "Sebastian said that you were a sweet boy, that you were a good boy." 

"I'm sweet to him," Ciel replies, only slightly caught off guard when his cell phone vibrates against his thigh, making him jump minutely. "I'm not sweet to random women that break into houses." He picks up the phone, glances at the text Sebastian had sent back.

_Coming home now. Is everything okay?_

Nina makes a sound in her throat and begins rooting around in the Cheetos bag again. "You know, I'm one of Sebastian's oldest friends. I know everything about him."

Ciel raises a brow as he carefully taps a message back,  _it will be_. "You know everything about him?" His lips quirk upwards and a feeling of sudden pettiness raises into his chest. "Do you know about the other boy that lived here?" 

"Huh?" She pushes herself up a little bit to get a better look at Ciel before sinking back down. "Oh, you mean Doll. Sweet kid. What do you want to know about him?"

Saliva floods Ciel's mouth and he has to swallow twice in quick concession before he can speak again. "Sebastian didn't tell me much, just that something bad happened and they both ended up getting hurt." He thinks about the scene created in his head and blinks a few times. "I just want to know what happened."

Nina shrugs, scraping Cheeto dust off of her fingers with her front bottom teeth. "Well, they were together for about a year, but they only dated for half a year."

"They dated? Like, holding hands and kissing dated?" Ciel's entire body has tensed, and he only realizes it when his nails bite little crescents of pain into his palms.

She lets out a humorless little laugh, chip bag crinkling beneath her searching fingers. "Well, yeah. Sebastian was head over heels for Doll. I'm not really sure if it's my place to tell you what happened. It wasn't pretty." Nina sits up and swaps the Cheetos bag for the remote, absently flipping through the channels. "If you ask Sebastian, I'm sure he'll tell you."

Ciel's top teeth pull his bottom lip into his mouth, chewing hesitantly at a small patch of dry skin. He doesn't say anything, doesn't move, afraid he'll do something unforgivable like trash the living room or punch a hole in the wall or rip the television off of the wall. He's scared he'll say something awful to Nina, make her cry, make her tell Sebastian what a terrible, prying little boy he is. 

His little self destructive reverie is cut short when the front door knob jiggles, keys in its lock for a split second until it opens. Ciel sees Nina sink into the corner of the couch, a finger pressed to her lips. Sebastian steps into the living room, and at first he only sees Ciel, smiles, and strides over to him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "Did you have a good day at school?" he asks, fingers tugging at the knot of his tie.

"I did," Ciel says, trying his best to not look at Nina. If he looks, he will ruin her shitty little surprise. "What about you, did you have a good day at work? Did you get everything straightened out for that divorce?" 

"I did," Sebastian echoes, shrugging out of his suit jacket, and when he turns around to lay it on the coffee table, Ciel can see the flash freeze change of his face as his ruby eyes land on Nina. "What are you doing here already? I thought I said that I would call you after I got home from work."

Ciel eyes the quick pulse of Sebastian's jaw and then watches as Nina gets up from the couch, drapes herself around Sebastian's shoulders.

"Oh, baby," she says, voice oddly husky, mouth dangerously close to Sebastian's, "you know I know where you keep your spare." Ciel bristles as Nina's hand slides up Sebastian's thigh, disappearing to the front of his slacks.

"Knock it off," Sebastian quips, grabbing her wandering hand before throwing it off. "You always do stuff like this; don't you ever get tired of acting like a child?"

Nina explodes into a cascade of giggles, flopping back onto the couch. "C'mon, Michaelis, you know you love me. I ate all of your Cheetos, by the way." She reaches out for Sebastian with one her feet as he passes by, jerking away violently from her.

"I told you to come here because I have something serious to talk about, but if you aren't going to be serious, then I'll find some other kind of service that will take my needs seriously." Sebastian hangs his jacket on the coat rack and turns around, brows still drawn together. "Ciel, it's time to eat." His voice is still harsh, and Ciel's shoulders flinch inwards, suddenly reminded of his father.

Ciel does his best for Sebastian not to see the small jump, but the man does anyway. His entire body softens immediately, and he spreads his arms, head tilted to the side. "I'm sorry," he murmurs as Ciel practically launches himself into his arms, head nuzzling against Sebastian's firm chest. "I didn't mean to yell."

"I know," Ciel murmurs, his fingers snagging in the soft fabric of Sebastian's white shirt, which smells like their sheets, like fabric softener and sweat and something else that is distinctly Sebastian. He pulls away minutely, just enough to look up at him, smiling. "Let's eat dinner, huh?"

-

"A party?" Ciel lays on Sebastian's bed with his legs hung over its side. He watches as Sebastian steps out of his slacks, the small of his back curving into a sensual place, a place that Ciel wants to run his tongue in, wants to curl up and live in. "What kind of a party?" 

When Sebastian pulls on a pair of soft, flannel pajama pants, Ciel's tongue meets the roof of his mouth, pulling away with a soft pop. "It's a masquerade, this year. It's a party where people in relationships like you and I can meet up, talk about how their lives are going, give out tips to help the newer people just getting into the arrangement." He works his arms into a shirt that is slightly too large, one that Ciel will end up in at the end of their night. "I've been going every year for about five years, even when I wasn't in one of these relationships. Someone I went to college with created the parties, and he's adamant that I come this year with someone on my arm." He glances back at Ciel, crimson eyes sparkling in the bright white light of the bedroom. "What do you say?"

Ciel props himself up on his elbow, hand nestled beneath his head. "What's in it for me?" He's teasing, but the sharp tug of Sebastian's mouth is a good payment.

"Well, you get to be paraded around by me, ogled at by other rich, old men, and when we get back home, hopefully, the ride of your life." He slips over to the bed, fingers sliding hot trails beneath Ciel's shirt. "Wouldn't you like that? Having some other man look at you, think about taking you home and fucking you senseless?"

Ciel suddenly forgets how to breathe, but he knows to fit perfectly against Sebastian, the older man's knee slotting like a puzzle piece in between his thighs. "You think I want anyone other than you to fuck me?" His fingers dig into Sebastian's sides, hips rolling up in slow ocean waves, mouth wet and glistening in the room's lighting. "You're the only old man for me."

"Is that so?" Sebastian hand cups in between Ciel's legs, gentle, but hard enough to draw a gasp out of his mouth. "So, before me, you never thought about letting men do this to you?" His groping roughens minutely, and Ciel has to bite back a moan that threatens to slip out of his lips.

He knows that Nina is directly beneath them, in the living room, watching trash TV and eating doughnut holes. "You're such a tease," Ciel manages to get out quietly, rutting against Sebastian's hand like a dog in heat. "I blew my physics teacher junior year to pass the class." His back arches and their bodies are almost flush, save for the inches of clothing between them. "But you're the only one I want to - please."

Sebastian's mouth meets the spot beneath Ciel's ear. "You want me to what, Ciel? Want me to fuck you? Want me to fuck you so hard that Nina hears us?" He yanks Ciel's soft shorts down, fingers hooking into the band of his boxers. "Tell me what you want me to do, baby."

"I want you to fuck me," Ciel gasps, teeth sinking into Sebastian's shoulder to keep himself from crying out at the sudden shock of cold air. "I really, really want you to-"

"I'm here, I got you," Sebastian says, pulling his own pants down, giving his already half-hard cock a few pumps before straining over to find the bottle of lube on the nightstand. Ciel is begging and pleading, little murmurs against Sebastian's skin as he pumps in with two short strokes, bodies thumping together at a frantic pace. "Oh, fuck, kid," he groans, mouth leaving spots against Ciel's ivory skin.

Ciel's legs lock around Sebastian's waist, desperate for closer contact, harder fucking, more, more more, more Sebastian. His arms hold Sebastian like a vice, the headboard hitting against the wall with a force he knows Nina can hear, but he doesn't care. All he cares about right now is their bodies so close together, Sebastian's cock deep within him, pulsing, squirming - cumming.

Sebastian's forehead falls against Ciel's shoulder, his breath stirring the hairs that curl at the nape of Ciel's neck. "God, you're a good fuck, kid. Great fuck. Best I've ever had." He pulls up slightly, looks at Ciel. "You're happy, doing this, right?" His fingers touch at Ciel's forehead, push some sweaty strands of hair out of his eyes. "You like living with me, and you like the arrangement we've got going on? Right?" 

"Of course," Ciel says, a small smile on his face. "What, do you think I've been sticking around for two weeks out of spite?" He sits up as Sebastian moves beside him, head tilted. "I like being here. I like staying here, with you. I like going on little shopping trips and I like fooling around with you, Sebastian. It's fun." He stands up, walking carefully to the bathroom so he can clean himself up, quietly dress himself in Sebastian's fallen shirt and his shorts. "C'mon, let's go back downstairs. Nina's going to eat everything in the pantry," Ciel says as he hands the washcloth to Sebastian, who takes it gratefully and wipes himself down and pulls his pajamas pants back on. 

He lifts a brow. "You're stealing my shirt now?" Sebastian's voice carries a teasing, lilting lift to it that Ciel hasn't heard before. It sends warmth blooming into his chest, and Ciel folds his hands, crushes them against his own body.

"I am," he responds, stepping back minutely. Ciel's lips part in a small smile as Sebastian gets up, his shoulders set in a playing stance. "And I'm not giving it back." Ciel steps back once more, and then tears down the stairs when Sebastian lunges at him, suddenly large and childish; they are laughing, yelling, acting as if they're dating, as if they're in love - and the sudden fact that they're not brings Ciel to a crashing halt in the living room, where Nina lounges on the couch and Sebastian crashes into him, knocking Ciel to the ground. 

As he gets back to his feet, Ciel can hear Nina shift against the leather, chuckle. "Are you two having fun? I heard you upstairs. For such a big house, these walls sure are thin." She uncrosses and then recrosses her legs, one thin brow raised. "Sebastian, did you bring me here to listen to you two fuck, or did you bring me here to make costumes?" She makes a dramatic motion with her head, one that pries a sigh from deep within Sebastian's chest, a rolling rumble that Ciel wants to bottle up and listen to late at night to help himself sleep.

"Fine," Sebastian says, Mr. Fun-Time suddenly gone, replaced by Serious Sebastian, the Sebastian that carries a briefcase and wears a suit and does not kiss Ciel on his forehead. His voice is stern, jaw set in a hard line that Ciel does not like. "We've already talked about the party, but I'm going to give you free range on Ciel's outfit." He glances at Ciel and then points a finger at Nina, brows drawn. "Be careful with him. If you prick him with a pin, or accidentally stab him with scissors or anything even remotely harmful, it'll be on your head." He takes a step towards Ciel, slips a hand behind the nape of his neck, and kisses him at the spot behind his ear, stooping down just slightly. "I'm going to take a shower, and when I'm done, I'm going to come back, and if she did anything that you didn't like, I want you to tell me."

Ciel nods, feeling light and happy again. "Of course," he says, and watches as Sebastian slips back upstairs. When he is no longer in sight, Ciel turns back to Nina, arms folded over his chest. "So, you're making my costume for this party, huh? What do you have in mind- hey!" He cries out when Nina yanks his shirt up over his head, arms getting tangled in the fabric as she does.

"Come on," Nina says, tossing the shirt onto the other couch, "get out of your skivvies and stand on the table."

Ciel's eyes go wide and he makes a little scoffing sound, head tilted forward. "Excuse me? I'm not going to take my underwear off and stand on the table, especially in front of you." He watches as she hauls a duffel bag onto the couch that sits behind her and begins to root around. "Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, I heard you," Nina retorts, almost as if she's irritated by him. "Fine, just take off your shorts and get on the table. Whatever you decide to do, just end up on the table by the time I find my fuckin' tape measure."

"I'm telling Sebastian that you tried to get me naked," he murmurs as he slips his shorts over his hips, suddenly feeling very exposed in the cold air as he stands near naked in front of an away-facing Nina. Ciel sighs, climbs up onto the coffee table as Nina continues rooting around in the bag, exclaiming when she manages to pull a long, flimsy, yellow snake out of the depths of the bag, proud of finding it. "I do know my own measurements."

Nina holds the tape measure up to Ciel's body, her hand dangerously close to his crotch. "I'm sure, sweetheart." As she measures, wraps the tape around Ciel's waist and chest and hips, Nina moves to make small marks on a piece of paper, sketching out something looks like a rectangle cut into threes. "You're pretty small, aren't you?"

Ciel lifts one brow as she pulls out a long piece of black fabric and a chalk pen. "Better specify what you're talking about."

"I already know that you're a bottom," she replies quick as lightning, taking a spot on the floor to mark out a rough pattern onto the fabric. "I'm talking about your stature. You've got thin legs." Nina raises her head, glasses slightly askew on her little upturned nose. "Do you have weak ankles? Can you walk in heels?"

"Excuse me?" Ciel steps back instinctively and slips off of the table, completely prepared to hit the ground, but he doesn't. Instead he is held against Sebastian's chest, firm and safe. He lets out a little sound, one of relief, of surprise. "I didn't even hear you come downstairs." 

Sebastian chuckles and together, they stand. He looks at Nina, brows lifted. "May I ask what happened?" His eyes change from hard to soft when they turn back to Ciel, and it's only then that Ciel's notices his damp hair, some longer strands in the back that curl against his neck. "Are you all right?"

Ciel's mouth twitches and he nods, swallowing in quick concession. "Yes, yes I'm fine. Except, she-" he points an accusing finger at Nina- "wants me to wear heels? What, do you want me to dress up like a girl? Wear a dress and some thigh highs, is that it?" He looks at Sebastian, who has a half smile on his face, one brow slightly raised. He's staring at Nina, who is wearing the exact same face. "You've got to be fucking kidding me," Ciel scoffs, pushing at Sebastian's side. "Sebastian! Tell me you're kidding!"

"I'd only wanted you to be taller," Nina says, her smile ever growing. "But, now that you mention, I think you've got a great body for a dress. Sebastian, do you still know-"

"The wig-maker?" Sebastian completes, and when Nina nods, he pulls out his phone. "I do. I think I'll give them a call." He taps at his cell phone and presses it to his ear, slipping into the kitchen for more privacy.

Ciel shakes his head, stepping away from Nina, stooping to pick up his clothes. "I'm not wearing a dress."

Nina tilts her head, points a finger vaguely in Sebastian's direction. "He said I have free range on your costume, and I think it would be in your best interest to go along with it." She then makes a jerky movement with her hand held just as her waist. "In your  _best_ interest." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any ooc or mistakes - i dont have a beta or anything, and i often miss my mistakes. hope you can all forgive me.


	5. FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Partying, some fighting, and an upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nyhehehe, we're finally getting to my FAVORITE THING TO WRITE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD aka lady phantomhive aka an aleister chamber party aka kuroshitsuji episode number 4, you guys. you honestly have no idea how much i LIVE for lady phantomhive. she's my ride or die.
> 
> sorry for being MIA for 9248980928 years - i went through a break up in october and just havent been in a good headspace as of late. hope you understand. also ,, its been 2 years since i uploaded the first chap of bld!!! its still my child, and i cry every time i watch tokyo drift. hope you guys are all well!
> 
> enjoy
> 
> much love xoxo

Ciel's shoulder blades come together in an aching way as he is bent backwards, ribs shifting together in a near sensual way. He gasps a little bit at the attack from behind, heat pooling at the center of his stomach with every tug, release, tug, release. It licks flames into his intestines, fingers curling against the wall that he's propped himself up against to remain stable, letting out little gasps as his body rocks back and forth, sweat beading at his brow. With one particularly painful _tuuuug_ , _releeeease_ , Ciel glances back behind him, brows drawn at Nina. "My insides are gonna come out!"

Nina scoffs, looping the bustier's laces over and under until she reaches the area above the small of his back, where she gives the bustier one last tug, and Ciel swears he can hear his own ribs shift once more and crack. "No one's insides have ever come out because of a bustier, you'll be fine." She leans over into his direct line of vision, smiling. "You can breathe, right? I don't need you passing out on Sebastian while you two are at the party." She slips her fingers beneath the spot above Ciel's hips and shifts the constricting piece slightly, allowing him to take a quick deep breath. "There, that better?"

"Yeah," Ciel says on the edge of a gasp, thankful when she removes her digits. "Do I really have to wear all this lingerie though? I feel cheap." He motions to the overtly uncomfortable and lacy underwear he's got on and the thigh highs, soft and silky. Nina had hooked the socks to frilly garters at the top of his thighs, making him feel slightly itchy.

Nina's brows raise incredulously and she cups a hand to her ear. "Excuse me? Cheap? Babe, I got all this stuff from Victoria's Secret. All this stuff was basically a car payment for me." She sniffs dramatically, and then moves towards her duffel bag, freeing something from its confines. "All right, honey, step through." She offers her shoulder for Ciel to keep his balance, and helps him step into the dress before zipping it up, fingers dancing from his tailbone up to his shoulder blades. The dress is short enough for him to feel a soft breeze in between it and the thigh highs, making him shiver. She fidgets with him for a few minutes more, pulling a wig cap over his hair and slipping a long, soft wig in its wake, tapping at his face with makeup that makes him sneeze, which she chastises him for.

After what feels like a hundred years, Nina steps away from him, asks, "are you ready to see yourself?". She does not wait for an answer, steers Ciel over to the wall mirror by his shoulders, and when he catches their reflections in the mirror, Ciel breath hitches in his throat, drawing a small chuckle out of Nina. "I know, right? I'm amazing." She steps away from him as Ciel moves forward, pressing his fingertips to the mirror, mouth open every so slightly. The girl in the reflection is beautiful: big blue eyes, sultry red eyeshadow with thick full lashes, glossy lips, long silky hair that reaches to her mid-back. She blinks a few time, turns in the mirror to get a better view of the dress. It's very short, showing off slim legs and thin ankles, with lightweight long sleeves that reach the girl's wrists. 

Ciel lets out a little breath. "That's me," he says, and he's right. It's him, not a girl. His skin peeks through a small inlay of lace near his hips, just beneath where the bustier sits. 

"Well, duh," Nina laughs, her eyes creasing as she smiles. "I did a good job, huh? I gave you as much cleavage as I could, but I didn't have much to work with, so I tried my best." She grins, hands on her shapely hips. "So, wanna go show our sexy professor what he's going to have to deal with tonight?" Before getting started on Ciel, Nina had transformed Sebastian into a tutor of sorts with a cold shower, some hair gel, a suit, and a pair of fake half-moon glasses.

"I definitely do," Ciel says, his rosy lips pulling up into a smile. He pads barefoot down the stairs, leaving Nina behind, and slips into Sebastian's study, where he is busy looking at something online. When Ciel gets close enough, he catches a few glimpses of an erotic looking site, featuring pictures of artsy-bruised looking boys wearing collars and chains, with hands bound behind their backs, arms tied together with pretty looking knotting techniques, mouths open and pleading, tears in their eyelashes. 

He leans in close, fingers curling over Sebastian's shoulder, mouth curling upward. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" he teases, giggling when Sebastian flinches, his fingers flying across the keyboard to banish the webpage from view. "Kind of naughty, don't you think?" When he moves forward, the wig slides against Sebastian's bicep, making the older man do a double take, turning his office chair around at a slow enough pace for Ciel to step back, brows raised. 

Sebastian's mouth twitches, jaw pulsing as he takes Ciel's image in, crimson eyes trailing slow patterns over Ciel's body, lingering for a second too long at Ciel's thighs. "Young lady," he says when he's regained his composure, lashes fluttering as he looks back up, "you're very beautiful, but I'm afraid I'm currently seeing someone."

Ciel makes a purring sound low in his throat, slipping into Sebastian's lap side-saddle, one arm hooking around the older man's neck. "Well, I'm more than sure that the person you're seeing wouldn't mind if you took a little time off for me," he says, ass shifting against Sebastian's crotch to get settled, head tilted ever so slightly. "Besides, I got all dolled up, just for you." His bottom lips sticks out slightly, and something flares up inside Ciel's chest when Sebastian eyes drop down to his mouth, flickering darkly. 

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into," Sebastian warns, fingers going vice-like against Ciel's currently wandering hand, finding solace just above his slacks. "You're crossing into very dangerous territories, Ciel." 

When his name leaves Sebastian's lips, Ciel takes a deep breath, body tensing. "And... what if I wanted to know? What would you do to me?" His throat works through a swallow, blue eyes focused solely on Sebastian. "Do you want to do to me what those boys were doing? Do you want to tie me up? Do you want to press down on my bones, just to see how hard you can do it before they break?" He pulls his bottom lip beneath his top teeth, feeling heat pool beneath his ribs. "What do you want to do to me? I'm tired of you fucking me at night in the dark." He shifts, trying to get some friction against their bodies. "Remember that first night, when we met?"

Sebastian's breathing has changed, going slightly jerky and uneven. "I do," he says, body moving unconsciously in slightly aborted movements, upwards against Ciel.

"Remember when I told you that you were allowed to do whatever you wanted? That I wanted you to take control, that I wouldn't break?" He leans forward slightly, so close that his mouth is almost grazing Sebastian's chin. The older man's hand has fallen in between Ciel's thighs, fingers dangerously close to touching the lace keeping him contained. "You wanted me to tell you what I wanted - so I'm telling you. I want you to bring out your worst; I want you to make it hard for me to walk, hard for me to remember my own name." He runs his tongue over his bottom lip, eyes flickering down for just a second. "I'm saying that you can do worse than handcuffs."

Sebastian's brows flick upwards and he tilts his head slightly, a smile creeping across his face. "Is that so? Do you have anything in mind?" he asks, and before Ciel can respond, Nina bursts into the room, startling Ciel out of Sebastian's lap and onto the ground, hard.

"What in God's name are you two doing?" she shrieks, snatching Ciel up by his arm, eyes ablaze. "Do you know how long I spent on your makeup? Go - get back upstairs!" Nina shoves Ciel out the door and turns back to Sebastian, a finger pointed accusingly in his direction. "If you ruin his makeup before the two of you leave the party, so help me Michaelis, I will castrate you myself and carry around your balls in my purse." Her jaw pulses. "Are we clear?"

A swallow works itself down Sebastian's throat and he gives a stiff nod. "Crystal."

-

The hosting house is gaudy in a way that Ciel is unused to. It's even more garish than Sebastian's: high green hedges, a garage that could double as a house, spotlights planted in the front yard with beams bright enough to pierce the heavens. He's been making small-dick jokes since they arrived, his hand prettily perched on Sebastian's forearm - an action which is mainly to keep his balance, but also lets other people see that Sebastian is his, even if it's in name only.

"I think he's overcompensating for something," Ciel murmurs, voice lowered slightly. He's attempting to keep quiet as they make it to the door so that no one nearby hears his real voice and points him out as a cross-dresser, a trespasser that does not belong here. "You went to high school with this guy, right? Tell me the story down there." 

Sebastian chuckles, tilting his head down towards Ciel. "We went to college together," he murmurs, stopping briefly to help Ciel up the stairs, one hand at his elbow, the other at the small of his back, "and I was very focused on my studies, so I never really took the time to purposely see him naked." Sebastian climbs the stairs after Ciel, eyes still trained on him. "Now, if you would like to see him naked, I'm sure Aleister would very much like to take some little thing like you up to his room and have his way with you."

Ciel cocks an eyebrow as Sebastian rings the doorbell. "As if I'd let him. He sounds horrible."

The door slowly sweeps open to reveal a neatly dressed man with half of his face hidden with a delicately-crafted mask. Ciel can see that he's tall and slim, with shoulder-length, ice blond hair and light eyes that seem to pierce through Ciel's skin. He steps back without truly meaning to and nearly falls, only to be saved by Sebastian's arm catching him safely around the waist. For a moment, Ciel feels at ease, feels safe and strong, and he really wants to drag Sebastian back to the car and suck him off, but the creep speaks before he can act this out.

"My, my, my," he says as Sebastian helps Ciel stand up straight, lowering his mask so that Ciel can see the tug of a smile around his pale, dead-fish eyes, "seems I've scared the young lady. Are you all right, little robin?" 

Ciel smooths out his dress and takes a breath, puts on a good-girl face, sultry and absolutely to die for. "I'm all right, sir," he says, voice soft and raised about an octave and a half, making Sebastian glance at him sideways, a brow lifted questioningly. "Do you mind if we come in? I'm sure you and Sebastian would like to catch up, and I would like a drink."

"You heard her, Aleister," Sebastian seconds, "let's catch up." He does not wait for approval, merely takes Ciel's hand and strides in to the room - he is the boss in this situation, he is in charge of all the aspects. He does not let go of Ciel's hand as they cross over to the bar, take a seat beside one another. Aleister quickly catches up and stands off to the side, near Sebastian. He looks pathetic, close enough to touch but ultimately out of reach.

Ciel tries to be a flirty as possible, constantly touching and fiddling and playing with Sebastian, twirling a strand of hair around his index finger, tying knots in the cherry stems that come with his drink. He wants to be the center of attention, wants all eyes on him, like the perverted little minx he is. He wants to be glittering, made up of stars as he and Sebastian - and sad, pathetic tag-a-long Aleister - travel from room to room, enchanting new men and fresh eyes.

When they wander into a room filled with mask-wearing, cigarette-smoking men, Ciel slides into Sebastian's lap, dangerous, a heart-breaker. He combs his fingers through the back of Sebastian's hair, hand lingering at the back of his neck. They are practically eye-fucking one another when Aleister clears his throat, breaking their focused attentions.

"She's quite the stunner," he says, a chuckle hidden in his voice, "where did you manage to pick her up? Also, I'm sorry, darling, but I don't think I ever caught your name."

Ciel freezes for a fraction of a second, ice-water crawling up into his veins. He tries to think about the girls he pretended to like in middle school, soft thighed and pink lipped and sweetly scented. He takes in a quiet breath and allows his lips to tip up into a smile. "My name is Rose," Ciel responds, digging his nails into Sebastian's skin for emphasis,  _remember it._

"We met at a bar," Sebastian says, teeth edging out a hiss that only Ciel can hear, his fingers tight against Ciel's thigh - revenge. "She was down on her luck, and I offered to buy her a few drinks, and - well, I'm glad we met. She really keeps me on my toes." He runs a hand affectionately over the strands of Ciel's wig, sending a long, sweet shiver down his spine. 

For a moment, Ciel considers kissing him, fisting his hands into Sebastian's shirtfront, covering Sebastian in hickeys, undoing his slacks and blowing him, right there, in front of God and everyone. However, he drops his eyes, heat rising into his cheeks. "I'm the lucky one," Ciel says quietly, shifting in Sebastian's lap ever-so-slightly. He's never been this aroused before; is this what does it for him? The pretense of affection and adoration?

 _How fucking pathetic_.

Ciel slides off of Sebastian, smoothing his dress out again. "I'm going to go get another drink and visit the bathroom," he murmurs, high-pitched voice still in use, trailing two fingers down Sebastian's arm. "I'll be back in a moment, so don't go anywhere, all right?" 

Just as he's about to leave the hazy, men-filled room, Aleister Chamber clears his throat and stands, his hand held out, palm up. "You're going to need an escort, no? You don't know where anything is."

If Ciel were any kind of cat, he would bristle, would bare his teeth and hiss and, without a doubt, would come at Aleister with his claws. However, he is not a cat. He is an unbelievably horny, slightly angry twenty-two year old. He has manners. He is civil. He shakes his head, a berry-red smile on his face. "I'll be all right," Ciel says, slowly inching away from Aleister. "I know where the bar is, and I'm more than certain I'll be able to find the bathroom by myself. You boys just stay here and wait for me, okay?"

Sebastian makes a sound in his throat that travels up Ciel's thighs and makes him shudder. "Hurry back," he murmurs, and Ciel nods, steps back and quickly exits, doing his best to keep his balance as he slips through the crowd, baby-giraffe legs trembling and trying to keep him up. He finally finds the bar after passing through women that touch - "your dress is beautiful!" - and men that ogle - "why don't you come home with me?" 

He carefully slides into a seat, elbows up on the bar's top. Ciel hadn't caught a glance of the bartender at first, but when he does, Ciel's mouth hangs open slightly. "It's you!" he nearly shouts, pointing at the man that stands behind the bar, a grimace on his face. It's the bartender from the place on Artesia, where Ciel and Sebastian had met. _What had his name been? Something with an R. Richard. Raymond. Rachel._

Cum-glasses moves towards Ciel, brows drawn. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

Ciel's mouth works like a goldfish out of water, and he realizes that he is not Ciel. He is  _Rose_ , pretty and poised, someone that does not yell or jerk off in bathrooms, which he still has half a mind to do. "I'm sorry," he giggles, shoulders lifted daintily. "I must've confused you with someone else." Ciel shakes his head gently from side to side, long tresses tickling his arms through the lace. "Can I get a drink?"

Mouth pursed, Cum-glasses lets out a little sigh and scratches at the blond top of his hair. "Sure, whaddya want? I got Scotch, Jack, some kind of rum, tequila, 23 flavors of soda. Take your pick."

"I'd like a Jack and Coke," he says, eyes flicking over the bartender. The eyelashes that Nina had glued onto his face are heavy in a sticky way, and he can feel the inner corner of one lifting up gently. If it comes off, he'll look lopsided, and if he takes off both of them - without ripping his own eyelashes off in the process - Ciel won't feel like a breathtaking, flow-y girl that he's supposed to be. He touches at it gently, and straightens up when Cum-glasses comes back with his drink.

He doesn't give Ciel the glass right away, instead squares his shoulders and squints a little, tilting his head, and then clicks his tongue to his teeth. "I do know you," Cum-glasses says, condensation beading over his fingers. "You're the kid from Roanoke."

Ciel's entire body tenses and his ears pull back as he tries to laugh, a weak chuckle coming out of him. "I'm sorry? I don't think I know what you're talking about." The voice is cutting into his throat like a handheld grater - if this carries on any longer, he's going to go hoarse, and he doesn't want to lose his voice this way. "This is an open bar, right? I think I'm just gonna go-"

"You came in with the blond kid," Cum-glasses continues, setting the drink off to the side. If Ciel wants to reach it, he will have to slide into the lap of the woman beside him, and he's not so sure she'd enjoy that. "You, uh - you guys were drinking in the sitting area, and then you moved up to the bar." He pushes his glasses up and sniffs loudly. "Some old dude kept buying you drinks, and then you guys left together. Is he here with you tonight?"

Putting his palms on the bar's top, Ciel raises up a little bit, so that he can really see the bartender. He narrows his eyes, threatening the eyelash's life even more, and drops the good-girl-falsetto he's been pulling all night. "I don't know what you're talking about," he says quietly, eyes venomous, "so, if you'd just shut up, and give me my drink," the high-pitched voice returns, "I'll be on my way." He slides off of the stool and takes the drink that Cum-glasses has put before him, pausing briefly to smooth his dress out over his ass.

The trip back to the room where Sebastian and Aleister are waiting is much easier, especially after Ciel takes his shoes off - thank God Nina held him down for a pedicure - and doesn't have to grip onto walls or costumed men passing by for support. He pads into the room and easily slips into Sebastian's waiting lap, putting an arm around his neck. He tries to speak, but is cut off by the sound of Sebastian's voice.

"I'm saying that it's absolutely none of your business what happened between us!" His voice is brusque, louder than Ciel has ever heard it before. Color has drawn up into Sebastian's cheeks, and Ciel realizes what's happening: he's pissed off.

Now, Ciel has seen Sebastian upset before - once because of Nina, many times because of work. However, he's never seen him like this before, red cheeked and riled up. In a sense, he's incredibly attractive, and another wave of arousal comes over Ciel. He clears his throat quietly, laying a hand on Sebastian's bicep. "Why don't we head home?" he murmurs, mouth moving dangerously close to the older man's ear.

Sebastian nods, mouth tight. "Hang on a second, darling," he says, and then turns back to Aleister, who has a masked woman in his lap, her hips moving absently against him. "If you ever ask me anything about it again, Aleister, I swear to God, I'll end your life, do you understand?" His jaw pulses, setting in a way that makes Ciel's skin crawl, and then he helps Ciel up from his lap. "We're leaving now, Aleister. Remember what I said." His voice is absolutely deadly, and Ciel is practically jiggling in his spot - he wants to pull his dress up over his head and walk around in lingerie in front of everyone. He needs to get fucked, and he needs it now.

"I'll see you in a year," Aleister says, his fingertips hidden beneath the masked woman's dress. 

Ciel grabs Sebastian's hand in his own free one and practically tugs him out of the house, thankful that he can drop the act when they're outside. "I've been dying to get you all to myself again," Ciel says, walking backwards, looking at Sebastian. "I can't wait for you to get me out of this dress. I've got on a little surprise that I think you'll enjoy."

"I'd love to, kitten," Sebastian begins, eyes flint-hard in the dark, "but I'm really not in the mood." He pulls Ciel over to his side, their fingers intertwined, "maybe tomorrow you could put your surprise back on, and we could give it a go?" His voice is like dark chocolate, and  _God_ , as bad as Ciel wants to say yes, he can't.

He sighs, dropping Sebastian's hand. "I have a project due the day after tomorrow. Oil painting, so I'm staying late in the studio tomorrow to finish it. By the time I get home, we'll still have to eat dinner together and you'll have to shower and probably do paperwork, so you know, just, just forget it." Ciel swallows hard, fighting back a stupid, unreasonable feeling to cry.

Sebastian's voice is quiet, barely there, and still manages to punch Ciel in the chest. "I'd like to see it," he murmurs, drawing Ciel's eyes up, wide and glistening in the moonlight that slips through the clouds. "We may not have sex or anything, but I would like to see you." He slips his arm around Ciel's waist, fingers curled at his hip. "I think Nina did a very good job on dressing you up, little one. You look absolutely stunning."

Something flashes through Ciel, something hot and mean. He stops walking, even though they are just a few feet away from the car. "Then why don't you want to sleep with me? I mean, I've been - I've been thinking about getting home all night and just, letting you have your way with me, and I thought you could've gathered that and - and all of a sudden, you don't want to fuck me." His voice is louder than intended, but he can't stop himself. "What did he say? I mean, what did Aleister say to make you not want to fuck me?" He laughs humorlessly, throwing his hands up in the air. "I mean, this afternoon, you were looking at those pictures, and if Nina hadn't interrupted, something would've happened - and you can't tell me that you didn't want to fuck me earlier on, Sebastian!"

Tears, stupid, hot, blurring tears, spill over his cheeks, making Ciel curse loudly. He wipes angrily at his face and then shakes his head. "Just - forget about it, okay? Let's just go home." Ciel takes in a small breath and starts walking again, still talking. "Let's just go home and go to bed."

"He asked me about Doll," Sebastian says, voice loud behind Ciel. "You know, the kid I was with before you?"

Ciel turns around; this isn't happening. He's dreaming. He doesn't want to hear it, doesn't want to know about who came before him, doesn't want to think about the boy that crawled into Sebastian's heart and pushed everything else out. He shakes his head from side to side, vigorously enough to remind him he's still wearing a wig, and a dress, and all the stupid fucking lingerie beneath. 

"I don't want to know," he murmurs, voice barely audible. "I don't want to hear about him, Sebastian, I really don't. I don't want to know about how he broke your heart, or, or you broke his, or that some indiscernible force pushed you two apart, or something, okay? I don't want to hear it-"

"He's dead." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oohohhoohooooo that cliffhanger thooooooooo!!!!!! i'm an asshole, i know. more will come, i promise. 
> 
> hope you guys arent too mad at me. it will all make sense, though, i promise


	6. SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowow 2 updates in 2 days - who am i??? i've just been in a write-y mood lately. i really liked the last chap, so i hope you guys do to!! this chap starts of ANGSTY as fuck but its nice at the end, so please dont be too upset with me.
> 
> trigger warning!!!!!!! talk of death, self-hatred, suicidal ideation ! stay safe, guys.
> 
> enjoy
> 
> much love xoxo

"He's dead." Sebastian says this casually, like someone has just asked him what day it is. His hands are in his pockets, he stands up straight, back ramrod stiff. There is no sadness in his eyes, no flicker in them like there had been when he mentioned his father. He looks absolutely whole and calm, as if this boy's death means absolutely nothing to him, like it had just happened and Sebastian had continued on with his life, like there is not a framed picture of him in the living room. "He was on his way home from somewhere - a poetry slam, a pottery class, I can't remember what - and it was raining, and he lost control of the car and went into oncoming traffic."

Ciel's mouth opens and closes, and he can't speak for a few minutes. There is no one else around, only him, Sebastian, and the stars up above. The air is cold, and Ciel knows that this is a moment he will remember forever. "Nina... told me about him," he says decisively after a while, hands clenched tight. "She said that - that you guys had a similar relationship, and then you two ended up dating, and that you  _loved_ him. She said you were head over heels for him, and that something bad happened. I mean, you told me that you both got hurt!"

He feels like an idiot, dressed like a girl, barefoot in the cold, outside of a stranger's home. His ears are warm - with shame or upset, Ciel isn't sure, but he wants to go home. Not to Sebastian's home, to the one he was kicked out of. He wants to curl up in his mother's bed like he did as a child when it would storm, wants her to stroke his hair and wrap him up in blankets.

"I did love him," Sebastian says, voice suddenly soft, and Ciel glances away. For a second, he is filled with venom, black, bubbling evil that crawls up his throat and threatens to come out, to tell Sebastian nasty things:  _love me, I'm right here, I'm not dead, I'll do whatever you want, I'm better than him._ "I always treated him gently, like he really was a doll - I was so scared of dropping him, of letting him break. I did my best to keep him safe, and in the end, I couldn't protect him." His lips work up into a sad, strange little smile, one that breaks Ciel's heart, because for the first time since they've been together, it is not meant for him.

He is not the subject of Sebastian's thoughts for the first time in almost three weeks. Sebastian does not love him, Ciel realizes as they stand a foot apart, beneath the ever-watchful moon, and it hurts. Ciel realizes that he is just a fucktoy for Sebastian, and he's been giving into it - he's been eating out of Sebastian's palm and has been throwing himself at the older man and for one reason only: he likes Sebastian. 

"Oh my God," Ciel murmurs quietly, shoulders falling. He takes a deep breath in, lets it shudder out. 

Sebastian steps forward, one hand held it towards him. "What's wrong, Ciel? Are you all right?"

He shakes his head incredulously, mouth slightly open. "No! No, Sebastian, I'm not all right!" Ciel takes a breath - he feels like screaming until he goes hoarse. "I like you! I - I really like you, and I'm not supposed to!" Ciel laughs loudly, making Sebastian step back minutely. "There weren't supposed to be any feelings between us, remember? It was just supposed to be the two of us, sex, and money!" Tears of shame blur his vision and Ciel angrily wipes them away. "I may seem like this totally detached, snobby, rich kid that has no feelings, but I'm not, Sebastian!" He throws his hands up in the air, feeling useless and awkward, like he doesn't fit into his own body. "I'm fucked up, and I only have one friend, and I live with a man that's 10 years older than me because he picked me up at a bar, and I'm so fucking desperate that I agreed to do whatever you wanted, just like that!"

Sebastian's brows dip and he tilts his head slightly - Ciel's brain is screaming  _kiss him kiss him kiss him kisshimkisshimkisshimkisshim._ "Ciel, why - why don't we just go home? We can sleep on all this, okay? We can talk about it in the morning."

Heat rips through Ciel. He wants to get in the car and drive down to the beach and drown himself. He wants to push Sebastian to the ground and jump on his chest. He wants Sebastian to fuck him until he cries. "I don't want to go home with you, Sebastian. I'll just - I'll call Alois and have him pick me up, I can stay with him for a little while." He sniffs, carefully rubs at his eyes, and then realizes that Sebastian has his cell phone tucked away in his pocket, which the older man has realized before him.

He holds it out, mouth soft. "I'm sorry," Sebastian says, "I wish you would just come home with me."

"I know," Ciel murmurs, not looking at him. "I'll come back home. I'll come back to you, after I get this all straightened out." He steps away, quickly dialing Alois' number as Sebastian disappears from sight, almost like he was never there in the first place. 

-

The studio is quiet, save for the gentle tapping of pencils against paper and brushes squishing into paint. Ciel has been sitting in front of his unfinished canvas for the past two hours, head blank and fuzzy. He's been sleeping on Alois' couch for the past three days - "sleeping" being the operative word. He's been lying awake, pretending that he doesn't hear Alois and Claude fucking noisily, pretending that he's not dreaming about Sebastian when he does manage to sleep.

He straightens up, rolling his shoulders backwards loudly.  Being in this room is like a joke, like a reminder that he's a failure. If Ciel had just stuck with law, he wouldn't be in this situation. He wouldn't be sitting in front of a blank canvas with no inspiration in mind, pining after a rich 32 year old that was still hung up on his dead boyfriend, sleeping on his best friend's couch, and 50 Shades of Fucked Up. If he just been a good boy, had just stuck it out, he'd be okay.

Ciel grits his teeth and begins to pack up his supplies, only to be stopped when a familiar, whiny voice creeps over his shoulder and snags his attention.

"Whassa matter, Phantomhive?" Edward Midford sneers, lips pulled back in a mocking way. "All run out of inspiration? The professor really liked your oil painting; what happened?" He circles around Ciel and picks the canvas up, feigning shock. "I can't believe the golden boy hasn't even started - I'm honestly so surprised!" He lets out an ugly laugh, and Ciel knows that if Edward weren't Lizzie's brother, he'd snatch the palette knife off the neighboring easel and stab him with it.

Instead, Ciel quickly packs his things up and then stands, grabbing the canvas from Edward's thin, probably sticky fingers. "Look, Midford," he says, voice lowered, "I'm not in the mood. I've been sleeping on a couch for almost a week, and I haven't had a hot shower in just as long. Sorry that the professor liked my painting and not yours - oh, wait, you don't paint. You're a graphic designer, you're one of the computer jockeys, right?" All of the anger, sticky black tar hatred, that has been building up inside of him for his entire life is finally spilling out, and Edward is in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

He sets the canvas down and jabs a finger into Edward's chest, drawing attention from a red-haired girl in the back. "I don't care how many coattails you've ridden to get here, okay? I don't care if Lizzie's your sister anymore. I fucking hate you, I always have. When we were kids, I hated you." He jabs harder, backs Edward up. "You were never nice to me, and I think it's because you were jealous - because, sure, your parents are rich, and yes, your mother thinks that I'm slovenly and that I'm the black sheep of the Phantomhives, but that's just that!" His jaw sets, mean, angry - this isn't him. This is anger, nastiness. "I am a  _Phantomhive,_ and my parents are Phantomhives, and what are you?"

Ciel sets his stuff into the designated cabinet, one brow lifted as he moves towards the door. "You're just a computer jockey." He lets the door slam, heavy and  _hateful ugly vile,_ behind him before he breaks into a sprint, head filling up with voices. They all take form in Sebastian's voice, smooth like silk, absolutely damning.

_You fucked up big time, baby boy._

His legs work on autopilot, taking him past Artesia, past his father's house, down many different streets that he doesn't recognize.

_You can't run away from this, kitten. You have to be an adult eventually._

Ciel's lungs burn as he gasps in the cold, nearly December air -  _yes, I can, and no, I don't._ He skids past an Acura, its horn blaring as he runs into the start of Alois' apartment complex, tears beading in his eyes when he trips, ripping the knees of his jeans open. Blood begins to flow from both his palms and knees, but Ciel can't find it in himself to stop; he scrambles up, desperate, needy, fucking pathetic - he hates himself.

For the first time in 22 years, Ciel has never hated himself this much. It is a nasty feeling, like drinking an entire gallon of lemon juice after swallowing a handful of razor blades - it hurts. It rises up into his chest, black-licorice flavored and teeth-y. 

He jogs up the stairs to Alois' apartment, considers jumping off the top set to the concrete below. It's a passing thought, though, fleeting and minuscule; it would be a shitty thing for him to do, kill himself right outside of Alois' apartment, body nasty and mangled and an accurate representation of how he feels on the inside.

Ciel races down to Alois' door and practically kicks it open, rushes inside. "I'm losing my mind!" he says, voice louder than it's been in years. He's usually not one for dramatics, but this week has dropped him on his head, pulled all kinds of pieces out of him, parts of himself he didn't know existed. He slams the door behind him and wanders into Alois' bedroom, where the blond is sprawled on his stomach, blanket pulled up over his hair, head slightly raised.  "I'm going crazy," Ciel says, breathing hard.

Alois pulls the blanket off slightly, eyes narrowed with sleep. "What are you talking about, babe?" He sniffs and sits up, glances at the clock, and then looks at Ciel, his eyes going wide when he finally sees the blood seeping into his clothes. "Jesus Christ, are you okay?" He leaps up out of the bed, helps Ciel out of his jeans, and runs to get the first-aid kit that Claude had helped him toss together after the kitchen-fire incident his second year living in Aria. He disinfects Ciel's wounds, dabbing at the red, weepy skin gently, and puts a few glittery, baby-pink Hello Kitty band-aids on top of them, before sitting back on his heels, tipping Ciel's chin upwards to get a good look at him. "What's wrong with you, Ciel? What - I mean, what are you doing?"

He chuckles, putting a hand on Ciel's cheek. "The whole time I've known you, you've been the calm one, the voice of reason." Alois stands up and pulls Ciel over to the bed, where they lay down together, Alois' pale arms around Ciel. "Remember when we were sophomores in high school, and - and Edgar Redmond threw that party in the middle of the year?" He squeezes Ciel a little tighter, chin digging into the top of his head. "Remember how drunk I was? And I was just about to go home with that creepy guy from the funeral home - who even invited him? But, you, you stopped me, and you sneaked me into your house, because if I went home, you knew my uncle would kill me?"

"I remember," Ciel murmurs, heat flooding through his body - it is a good feeling heat, a kind of warmth that reminds him of warm socks, a hug, a cup of tea. "And we ended up going to that little roadside diner to get some food in you, and the waitresses couldn't stop laughing at us because you kept trying to sing along to that song by Lady Antebellum." He lets out a little sigh and swallows hard. "I like Sebastian."

Alois is quiet for a moment, and then he makes a sound low in his chest that Ciel can feel in his own. "I know," he murmurs, grip on Ciel tightening a little bit. "That night you called me to pick you up, that's when I realized." He pulls away and sits cross-legged, head tilted softly to the right. "Look, I know that we made that stupid blood pact, but if you really like him, who am I to stop you? I mean, that'd be like if you had tried to stop me from dating Claude."

"But I kind of did."

"And look how happy we are together!" Alois takes Ciel's hands in his own, brows drawn. "Babe, what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to be scared to like him. I mean, sure, you guys have an odd, kind of complicated relationship, but, that's what makes it fun! I mean, do you think I would've stayed with Claude for, fuck, almost five years if we didn't go through the shitty times every once in a while?" He holds Ciel's face in cupped hands, their noses nearly touching. "Just go for it. What's the worst that could happen?"

Ciel pulls away from him, shaking his head. "You didn't hear the things that I said to him; you didn't hear the things he said to me." He crosses his arms over his chest like a petulant child. "But, I did promise him one thing, you know? I promised him that I'd come back after I got everything straightened out, that I would come back home to him."

Alois slips his arms back around Ciel, head in his lap. "You really like him, huh, babe? Well, before you go back to him, the girls next door gave me their Netflix password and I've been itching to watch _Portrait of a Serial Monogamist,_ and you know, it'd be more fun to watch together." 

"What about school?" Ciel combs his fingers through Alois' icy-blond locks, head tilted downward. His best friend squirms, mouth pulled up into an uncomfortable smile. Ciel scoffs, mouth slightly open. "Don't tell me that you dropped out, Alois! I thought you were serious about finishing; what happened? I mean, do you really want to work at Macy's for the rest of your life?"

Alois sits up and clicks his tongue against his teeth, legs crossed. "Look, it's not like that - I'm getting paid like fifteen dollars an hour to fold shirts, and I usually just work three hours, because I can only work at the crack of dawn until 10. School just takes time out of my day, and it's the only other thing I spend my money on, Ciel! Rent's not cheap, and I am so tired of eating old pastries that Claude steals for me." He pulls his shirt - probably one of Claude's from ages ago - up, displaying a soft little spot against his stomach. "I've gained like 15 pounds since my professor came back!" 

Ciel scoffs. He loves Alois, he's glad that they're friends, that they're both fucked up and kind of sad. He sighs, flops back down onto the bed. "Well," he says when Alois does not follow suit, "don't you want to watch the movie?"

-

"I can do this." Ciel paces around Alois' bedroom, cell phone in hand. After the movie finished (and after they finished crying), Ciel realized something: he is Elsie, sad, scared, world-renowned relationship ruiner. Sebastian is Robyn, kind, caring, absolutely perfect. He's been replaying their entire three-week relationship is his mind, every kiss, every touch, every smile. Ciel thinks about the way that Sebastian would trail his fingers gently up Ciel's skin, press his lips to the back of Ciel's neck, hold onto him in the dark. 

He hates this, hates the way he feels. He's not sixteen anymore, not getting high with random college guys, not fucking his teachers for better grades. He is 22 now, he is strong, he  _can_ do this. Ciel takes a deep breath through his nose and looks at Alois, brows drawn. "Tell me I can do this," he says, voice small and scared, and he is scared - God, he's terrified. He's terrified about what Sebastian will say, that he'll tell Ciel what a horrible, nasty boy he is.

"You can do this, Phantomhive," Alois says. He's still sitting on the bed, legs crossed. "If I didn't believe in you, do you think I'd still be here? Honey, if I didn't believe in you, I'd be over at Claude's, eating all of the ice cream in his freezer, because some soccer-mom-200-sheet-count-Croc-wearing-bitch got mad at me this morning because we didn't have a pair of flat-front paneled jeans that she's been 'buying from Macy's since I was 16,' okay?" He  presses his hand against his chest, eyes full of care. "You got this, babe. Just call him. What's the worst that could happen?"

Grimacing, Ciel imagines Sebastian angry, red eyed, teeth bared, spitting, telling him what a nasty boy he is. He shakes his head minutely, shakes the image away. "I'm gonna do it, but I need you to call him for me." He holds his cell phone out, which Alois leans forward to take. "I want to talk to him, but if I call I'll just end up chickening out and hanging up-"

"It's ringing."

Ciel slides forward on his knees to grab the device, hissing as his already fucked up skin snags on carpet, and presses it to his ear. It rings, rings, rings -  _please, God, let him pick up -_ and then there is a click, soft breathing. Ciel's heart nearly stops when he hears Sebastian's voice, honey smooth and black coffee dark, "Ciel? Is that you?"

He swallows, tries to find something to say, anything,  _quick!_ "Yeah," Ciel unceremoniously decides on, making Alois roll his eyes. "I'm - were you busy? Like, were you doing paperwork or anything? Should I just hang up?" He's rambling now, choking; this is the part he hadn't anticipated. There is an apology lodged in his chest, an  _I'm sorry,_ an  _I want to come home indefinitely._ Everything is threatening to spill out of him like an avalanche, snowballing into something great and terrible.

"No," Sebastian replies, and if Ciel closes his eyes, he can see the older man, sitting up in bed, phone pressed to his ear, lights dimmed. "Ciel, I want you to come home." He pauses briefly, allowing Ciel to soak up his words, inhale them, breathe them in. "Do you want to come home?"

Ciel's eyes flicker wide, and he nods, fingers pulling at fibers of the carpet. "I do," he murmurs, glancing up at Alois, who stares at him in confusion. "I really want to come home. I want to come back to you."

Sebastian makes a soft sound into the phone, one that Ciel wants to bottle up and drink, let it live inside of him for the rest of his life. "All right," he murmurs, "I'll bring you home."


	7. SEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel and Sebastian reunite, in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaand now back to our regularly scheduled program! we havent had some good quality smut for a while, so lets dip into that, shall we? also... rubs my hands together..... two of my fave characters make their first appearances.... (also, SPOILER, im a huge proponent of trans woman grell, so im going to use she/her pronouns in this fic when i talk about grell , okay)
> 
> i went to the anime store at the mall down the road from me and found a sebciel poster......... i bought it and was SO ASHAMED when the cashier picked it up .. i go there like three times a month and she knows me by name.... assistant manager if youre reading this,, hello ^-^;
> 
> enjoy
> 
> much love xoxo

At first, Sebastian's car is quiet. Ciel had not run into his arms or anything like that, merely gotten into the car and buckled in. He contemplates grabbing Sebastian's hand, which sits between them on the center console, but decides against it - he doesn't want to do anything rash, anything to upset Sebastian.

However, when the Jaguar speeds past the entrance to Sebastian's neighborhood, Ciel lets out a little cry, sits up and glances backward. "I thought we were going home," he says, dumbfounded, finally breaking the silence of the car. He settles down and looks at Sebastian, brows drawn. "I thought you were going to take me home." His voice is soft, a touch scared - what if Sebastian really is a crazed serial killer, and Ciel's hour has come?

"I will," Sebastian murmurs, making Ciel's toes curl. His voice has lost its usual matter-of-fact, level tone, and has instead picked up the timbre of seduction. He sits up, tall and erect, knuckles white against the steering wheel. If Ciel had a good quality camera, he'd take a picture of Sebastian and have a thousand copies made, hand them out to strangers - _that's right, I live with him._ "We just have to make a short little stop, first."

Ciel grimaces as they head out to the rundown strip-mall where he and Alois used to hang out around, slumming it with college freshmen that liked to long-board and smoke clove cigarettes. He fidgets nervously, unsure of where this is going; he has no idea why Sebastian has brought him out to this mall at almost 11 o'clock.

Sebastian parks the car just outside the little cluster of strung together stores and unbuckles his seat belt, turns to look at Ciel. "The night that you left," he begins, eyes dark, heavily lidded, "you said that you wanted me to fuck you. Is that still true? Do you still want me to fuck you in the way that you wanted that night?"

Mouth going lint-trap dry, Ciel shifts. It takes everything inside of him to nod, a set of invisible fingers pulling at marionette strings tied around his neck, updownupdownupdown. He nods, like the good, obedient, disgustingly horny boy he is. He wants Sebastian, wants his fingers in him, his cock in his mouth, his teeth on his skin. He needs it like he needs air and water. 

"I'd like a verbal answer," Sebastian says, voice stern, nearly shocking Ciel. Before him is a different Sebastian, not one of the forms he's seen before - this is not Serious Sebastian, Sweet Sebastian, Handcuffs-are-kinky-right? Sebastian, or even Business Sebastian. All of a sudden, he is Dominate Sebastian, I'm-the-boss Sebastian. He is dark, a shadow coalesced into broad shoulders and narrowed eyes and a clenched jaw. "Ciel, did you hear me?"

There is a beat of silence, a glissando of Sebastian's fingers against the steering wheel. Ciel takes a deep breath, steels himself. "I still want you to fuck me in the way that I wanted that night," he says. Good boy. Sit, stay, roll over.

Sebastian softens, his lips melting into a smile, and he pushes the car door open, Ciel following suit silently. He puts a hand on the back of Ciel's neck as they walk towards the left end of the shops, down to where a darkened building suits, nestled between a family-run candle shop and a rundown ramen restaurant. He does not take his grip off of Ciel when they enter the store, which is about 15 degrees colder than it is outside, making Ciel cringe, bump backwards into Sebastian's body.

"Undertaker!" Sebastian calls out, his fingers curling over Ciel's right shoulder.

Everything in Ciel's body screams that  _something is wrong, something is not right, get out get out GET OUT!_ His mouth pulls into a grimace, tight with worry, and Ciel turns around, voice harsh and hushed. "Sebastian, what the fuck is going on?!" He wants to run out, but the deadly gleam in Sebastian's eyes is enough to make Ciel turn around, military stiff. Sebastian can be truly frightening when he wants to be, and this is one of those times.

_He really is a serial killer and I'm gonna fuckin' die and then the undertaker is gonna chop me up into little pieces and no one will ever find out - I'm fucked!_

The sound of a door creaking open echoes around the building, cutting off Ciel's imaginary death, and he squints in the darkness to see a man, long-haired and dressed all in black, creep out of something that resembles a bookshelf. He lets out a low, croaky laugh as he gets nearer and nearer, one hand reaching out towards Ciel. The man sinks his thumb and forefinger into Ciel's cheeks, other three fingers tucked beneath his chin. "He's smaller than I'd imagined," the man says, voice sending chills up Ciel's spin. He can't see the stranger's eyes through his heavy, ash-grey bangs, and for some reason, that wholly unsettles Ciel.

"Don't touch him like that," Sebastian murmurs, pulling Ciel back a little bit, hand around the younger male's bicep. "I already gave you all of his measurements, so you should've known beforehand that he'd be small." He shakes his head disapprovingly, making the man give out a little chuckle.

Ciel's brows come together. "My measurements? What - who are you? What is this place?"

The older man chuckles lowly, something yellow glinting beneath his bangs - his eyes? "I'm the Undertaker," he says, as if it's obvious, as if Ciel is used to being pulled into creepy, dark, freezing cold stores at almost midnight. "This is a very special place," the man continues, spreading his fingers against Ciel's chest, "a place that brings people together." His lips pull up into an eerie smile, and the man's head lifts to look at Sebastian. "May I show him what I mean?"

Sebastian waves a hand vaguely in the air. "Yes, but don't show him the things you've set aside for me."

Ciel is about to object, to say something along the lines of  _what the actual fuck is going on here_ , but he is interrupted by Undertaker grabbing the front of his shirt roughly and pulling him along, past the bookshelf-looking thing, into a room that is all aglow with white, fluorescent lighting and the amazing gleam of dildos, whips, throngs of rope, padded handcuffs, and all other kinds of treats. His eyes widen, and Ciel's mouth softens into a little circle, pink and quivering. "Oh," he murmurs, shoulders sloping.

"Go ahead, little one," the shopkeeper murmurs, an eerie smile on his face. "Feel free to look around at anything you'd like, but I'd be careful - sometimes the wand chooses the wizard." He chuckles lowly and turns around, slipping back through the door to where Sebastian is waiting, leaving Ciel all alone.

He takes a calm, albeit slightly shaky, breath, and attempts to steel his nerves.

The first thing that catches Ciel's attention is a long strip of leather with a bulky collar at the top, three sets of rings with two on either side down its body, and two detachable wrist-cuffs hooked to the lowest set of rings. He inhales through his nose, holds it as he steps closer towards the glass case that stands in front of the device. There is some small part inside of him that wants to press his fingertips against the glass and another part that wants to kick a hole in the glass and steal the object, take it for his own.

Instead, he does neither and moves toward a set of shelves, where a series of candles sit. The label says that they are body-safe; some of them are unscented, and some of them smell like lavender. Ciel thinks about being a child, pushing his fingers into the soft wax of his mother's candles, skin resting on the cusp of safety and danger. Ciel laces his fingers behind his back, continues looking. Nothing of this is right. None of this is Ciel's wand.

He wanders over to a wall adorned with coat-rack pegs, but coats do not hang from them. Instead, it is a series of ball and bit gags, sparkling silver and squeaky clean silicone. Ciel reaches up on his toes to take one down, something sleek and tantalizing. It looks almost like an o-ring collar, but Ciel knows - he's seen a lot of porn, mostly with Alois when they were teens, hiding beneath Ciel's bed or in his closet or in the loft-attic where no one would find them - that the silver circle is meant to keep someone's mouth open, their tongue in view, teeth naked.

It is not inherently erotic, but something about it stirs up a feeling deep within Ciel's intestines. This is, without a doubt, his wand, but Ciel doesn't want to have to ask Sebastian to buy him something like this. He swallows hard, and is about to put it back when a voice, one he has never heard before, interrupts him. 

"Do you like it, sweetheart?" 

Ciel turns around to see a tall, willowy woman standing in the doorway opposite of the one he had come through, a hand on her hip. She's got long, red hair and a pair of red glasses perched on her upturned nose. He finds her interestingly pretty, and clutches the gag to his chest. "I was just looking," Ciel murmurs, shaking his head in mild embarrassment, like being caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "I've never used any of this stuff before, really."

The woman tilts her head, green eyes glinting in the white light. "Really? If you've never used any of this stuff, then why are you here now?" The woman's voice is a little husky, like she's a smoker or something, and Ciel likes it. It's warm, like a sunny summer day, something he could curl up and lay beneath, dry his bones by. When Ciel doesn't immediately respond, the corners of her lips pull up and she crosses over to him, a hand extended. "I'm Grell," the woman says as Ciel takes her hand, which is nearly as large as Sebastian's but much softer. There is something faintly masculine about her, but Ciel thinks that it adds to her overall beauty and wholly welcoming aura.

"I'm Ciel," he says quietly, suddenly feeling very shy, and the woman,  _Grell_ , inhales loudly, fingertips squishing into her cheeks.

"You're Ciel?!" she cries, brows lifted sky-high. He nods stiffly, uncomfortable. How does this woman know who he is, and why is she so shocked? She grins, teeth gleaming. "There's a man that's been coming in for the past three days, real tall and terribly handsome, and Taker has been staying up at all hours of the night... working on something for  _you_." Grell lifts a sculpted brow, lips pursing. "Now, the only thing that I can wonder is... what did he make?"

Heat flushes through Ciel, creeping through his veins and up into his cheeks. He takes a small breath in, throat working out a swallow. "I should go back to him," he murmurs, and turns around to hang the gag back up when Grell clears her throat.

"I'll let you keep it," she says, bringing Ciel's heels back to the tile floor, shifting slowly to face her. "The stuff on that rack is all of my own old stuff - all sanitized and squeaky clean, of course. Taker didn't want to throw anything away, so, we just repurposed." Grell tilts her head, fingers beckoning Ciel to come forward. He does as she says, walks forward on feet that feel unattached, like they aren't his. 

He watches as she slips back through the door and returns shortly with a small, black, vinyl bag, in which she wraps up the open gag, passing it back off to Ciel. Grell smooths a hand over the top of his head and lifts his chin up with her index finger. "If you get scared," she says quietly, mouth dangerously close to Ciel's ear, "just take a deep breath, okay? Recenter. You're still alive, and he's still got you. If he really cares about you, he'll make sure you're okay."

Ciel doesn't understand what she means inherently, but as they leave, get back in the car, he knows it has something, if not everything, to do with the big black bag that Sebastian has.

-

Walking back into Sebastian's house for the first time in three days is strange. Ciel inhales deeply as soon as they come through the door; it smells positively of Sebastian: deep, rich, fresh and tangy. It's like chewing on a mouthful of pomegranate seeds, red berries popping wetly in his mouth, wiggling into the grooves of his teeth, making a home. He feels safe and warm, peacefully at ease. 

Sebastian clears his throat, and Ciel blinks, realizes he's been standing in front of the door for almost fifteen minutes, shoes off, hands loosely at his side. He blinks a few times in quick succession, shaking his head slightly. "I'm sorry," Ciel apologizes, feeling slightly lightheaded, "did you say something?"

"I was asking if you were ready to come upstairs," Sebastian says, motioning with his free hand, the one not holding onto the mysterious bag. 

Ciel's mouth goes soft, and he nods, moving up the stairs, painfully aware of Sebastian's proximity. He pushes Sebastian's bedroom door open and crosses over to the bed, sits, inhales deeply, trying to soak up the smell of Sebastian. It's even stronger in here than in the living room, dark and dancing on the back of Ciel's tongue. He fights with everything in his body to keep from rolling around on the bed, wrapping himself in the blanket. 

Sebastian gets there, slowly but surely, old man that he is, and leaves the door open behind him, but does not turn on the lights. He stands in front of Ciel, loosening his tie with one hand. "I want to know what that woman gave to you," he says, dark eyes landing on the small bag to the right of Ciel, hiding the shameful toy in its depths. 

Slowly, Ciel pulls the gag out of the bag, cheeks aflame with embarrassment. His stomach churns as Sebastian takes the device out of his hands, brows cocked. The older man turns it over with deft fingers, and allows his lips to tug into something that isn't a normal Sebastian-smile, it is dark, mischievous, makes Ciel cross his legs involuntarily. "Would you like to use this little gift?" he asks, head slightly tilted. 

The gag's ring glints in the light, and Ciel's mouth goes dry. He inhales through his nose, and nods, voice rushing through his throat. "Yes, sir," he says quietly, and some part of him shivers when Ciel sees a flash in Sebastian's eyes, hot red and wide. 

"Get undressed," Sebastian says, briefly rummaging through the bag's contents, and he pulls something out, something sleek, black, tight - fitted, silk-textured briefs. He holds them out to Ciel, "put these on, and then do a few stretches." He disappears briefly into the bathroom, leaving Ciel alone, fully dressed in the dark.

He undresses slowly, fingers stuttering on the zipper of his jeans. Once Ciel is out of his clothes, he pulls off his boxers, thumbs hooking into their band and slowly tugs them down over his thighs. As they fall to the ground, Ciel feels shy, embarrassed. He reaches for the black briefs that Sebastian had given to him, and steps into them; they feel like Heaven against his skin, impossibly smooth, incredibly tight. Despite being so thin, Ciel has to struggle for a few minutes to pull the briefs up, and takes a short, gasped inhale when he gets them to his hips, full contact over his cock. He takes a deep breath and does as Sebastian had said, bends over so that his fingertips brush the floor, raises his arms high above his head, rolls his shoulders around. When he sits down on the edge of the bed, Ciel becomes aware of the baby-pink band-aids still plastered to his skin, glowing faintly in the dark.

However, before Ciel can do anything about them, Sebastian comes out of the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind him. He's got on a soft, short-sleeved, white t-shirt, a sleek, digital watch, and pair of dark, fitted pants. He's barefoot, and there is a bundle of rope in his hands. "You look good in those," Sebastian murmurs, dark eyes taking in Ciel's briefs, flickering up and down. He is silent for a moment, and then says something that brings heat into Ciel's cheeks. "What happened to your knees?"

Ciel swallows, forcing his voice to work. "I tripped earlier." Then, after a moment of silence, he manages to ask, "what is that for?", although the voices whispering in the back of his head already know,  _he's gonna fuck you like you want._ He sits down, like Sebastian had said to, and fights the urge to freak out.

The older man crosses over to Ciel, standing before him, a beacon of strength. "You'll find out in a second," Sebastian says, and then he sets the rope down, picks up the open gag. "Are you sure that you want to use this? I won't force you."  _Ah_. Soft Sebastian is here for a moment, completely ready to curl up in bed with Ciel asleep on his chest, snuggled beneath the sheets. 

Feeling weak and vulnerable and extremely little, Ciel nods his head, swallowing hard. This whole time, he's been all talk,  _I want you to fuck me til I can't walk, you can do worse than handcuffs, I'm not going to break blah blah blah_ , and now, Sebastian is acting. He's going to act out all of Ciel's filthy (bullshit) wishes, and Ciel is going to let him. He wants to experience this, and Ciel knows that Sebastian wants to experience it, too. "I want to use it," he says before the fear can creep in and choke something stupid out of him.

Sebastian nods and picks it up, kneels in front of the bed to Ciel's head, holding it before him. "Open your mouth, baby," he murmurs, flushing Ciel's body with arousal. He does as Sebastian says and opens his mouth wide, allowing the ring to slip just behind his teeth, clacking against them briefly. It keeps his mouth from fully closing, and Ciel begins to wish he had swallowed, or at least brushed his teeth, before agreeing to this. 

The gag is buckled around the back of his head, tight enough to stay in place, loose enough to not hurt Ciel. Sebastian pulls away, fidgets with his watch, and reaches for the rope. "I've been taking a  _kinbaku_ class while you were gone," he begins, gently stretching the rope, "Undertaker taught me how to care for the ropes, and also how to care for you." His eyes, dark and heavy, flick up from his hands to Ciel, whose tongue works uselessly in his mouth, spit pooling at the edge of the ring. "You said that I could do worse than handcuffs, and this is the first thing I thought about."

Ciel watches wordlessly as Sebastian sits on the ground, smoothing the rope out before he twists it into a pretzel-esque shape. "Now, if you feel any kind of tingling sensation in your hands, you have to let me know," Sebastian instructs as he tugs the rope into something that resembles a bow. "I know the gag makes it a little hard to speak, but Undertaker said not to keep it for longer than half-an-hour, since you and I are both starters at this." He stands up, rope in hand, and moves back to Ciel. "Get up for me, sweetheart, and turn around so that your back faces me."

His hands are cold against Ciel's body, and Ciel fights the urge to shiver as Sebastian loops the rope around his shoulders, sort of like a backpack. The older man is quiet as he fiddles with the rope, pulling and tugging until he touches at Ciel's right arm. "Your arms go through each one of these loops, so help me out a little, huh?"

Ciel does as he's told and stretches his arms backwards one at a time, exhaling when the rope catches around the bare skin of his biceps, gasping when Sebastian tugs it taught. Spit bubbles over his bottom lip and rolls down his chin, making Ciel let out a weak, little whine. His nose wrinkles as Sebastian keeps pulling and tugging, knotting the rope over and over until he reaches Ciel's wrists, where he loosely wraps the rope around them and tugs it into place. "I left some space around your wrists," he informs Ciel, slipping his finger in between the rope and Ciel's soft flesh, "but if it starts to hurt, you have to tell me, okay, baby?"

At the sound of the pet name leaving Sebastian's lips once again, Ciel's body goes hot with arousal. He nods his head, tongue hanging out of the gag's opening, like a dog in heat. His cock strains against the confines of the briefs, and when Sebastian turns him back around, shame colors Ciel's cheeks. 

The older man's eyes go wide, and a smile touches his lips.  _Uh oh._ Soft Sebastian is gone, and Dominant Sebastian is here. He steps closer to Ciel, thumb touching at the drool dribbling down his chin. "You're drooling," Sebastian murmurs, leaning in so close that his nose is almost touching Ciel's, "even little kids know how to keep from drooling." He straightens up, pulling his shirt up over his head. "Lay down on the bed on your stomach, ass up," he says, which fills Ciel with a sense of déjà vu. 

Ciel climbs as gracefully as he can onto the bed, laying down gently so that his painfully hard cock doesn't scrape against the mattress. He uses his shoulders and knees to keep from fully laying down, spit spilling out of his mouth and onto the sheets. His whines weakly as Sebastian shuffles around behind him, and then gets onto the bed, which shifts beneath his weight and forces Ciel forward just an inch; he cries out loudly when his dick fully comes into contact with the bed.

Sebastian chuckles, inching forward just a little bit more. "Do you want me to touch you?" he asks, fingers tiptoeing up the curve of Ciel's spine, feather light and barely there. "Do you want me to jerk you off? Or do you want me to fuck you?" He pulls his fingers away from Ciel's skin, causing the younger male to whine lowly, mouth shiny wet in the pale moonlight that seeps through the curtains. "No? You don't want me to fuck you?" He purrs lowly in his throat and presses forward, rolling his hips against Ciel's ass slowly, fingers walking over the rope's knots that keep Ciel from grabbing onto Sebastian and fucking him. 

A faint beeping sound from Sebastian's watch causes him to slow in his actions, and Sebastian chuckles, slowly unbuckles the gag from the back of Ciel's head and pulling it out of his mouth.

Ciel takes a deep breath, lips coming back together, soaked with saliva. His shoulders have begun to ache, and a whine comes through Ciel's teeth, desperate, needy. "Fuck me," he gasps, chest heaving. "I want you to fuck me, please, Sebastian." Tears bead at his eyes as he tries to force his hips into the mattress, desperate for contact, for any kind of friction. "Please, Daddy."

That does it. In one fluid moment, Sebastian pulls the tight briefs down to Ciel's knees, freeing his cock. He moves away for a split second, and when he returns, Ciel's arms are suddenly free - he cut the ropes away. Ciel takes in a deep breath, arms returning to his sides, a little painfully. But he doesn't care about the pain, he just wants to be fucked, and he wants it  _now._ Turning around, he grabs Sebastian by his shoulders and pulls him into bed on his back. He straddles Sebastian, briefly feeling around on the nightstand for the bottle of lube.

Once he finds it, Ciel pulls down Sebastian's pants, boxers and all, and tosses them somewhere in the dark, earning a small  _tsk_ from the older man, but he quickly go quiet and still when Ciel starts to work him with his right hand, using his left hand, albeit awkwardly, to stretch himself out with lubed-up fingers. "Say you want to fuck me," Ciel says, voice breathy and hushed.

Sebastian's hands find Ciel's hips, his own bucking upwards. "I want to fuck you," he says, lips wet. He helps Ciel raise up a little, and then sink completely down to the hilt, moans slipping out of them both. Sebastian's head tips backwards as Ciel grinds against him, displaying the soft point of his Adam's apple. "Call me 'Daddy' again," he murmurs, voice rumbling through his chest.

Ciel leans forward, his cock sliding wetly against Sebastian's stomach, mouth flush to his ear, and whispers, " _Fuck me, Daddy."_

His breath catches in his throat as Sebastian pushes him onto his stomach, one hand in between his shoulder blades and the other against his hip, fucking into him. Ciel lets out loud, porn-star quality moans as Sebastian grinds his hips  _hard_ _hard hard,_ hitting just the right spot. He whines every time that Sebastian pulls out, moans when he pumps back in.

Sebastian's pace picks back, and he helps Ciel twist around, legs locking around his waist. He can feel every inch of Sebastian, from his fingers at his neck, to the barbell beneath the head of his cock - he realizes how badly he's missed this, the whole sex-money-no-feelings thing. Ciel is tired of jerking off in random bathrooms and trying to shove down his feelings for Sebastian. He wants to stay with Sebastian, regardless of feelings, and he wants to be spoiled, and he wants to get fucked. His mouth opens slightly as Sebastian pulls him against his chest, their skin touching.

"I'm gonna cum," Sebastian murmurs against Ciel's neck, fingers finding Ciel's overly sensitive cock. He rubs his thumb over its head, making Ciel cry out, raise up a little bit. "No condom," Sebastian manages to get out, the movement of his hips beginning to slow down just a little.

Ciel shakes his head, taking it upon himself to ride Sebastian, mouth slightly open. "It's fine," he murmurs against Sebastian's neck, "I don't care." He fucks himself hard with Sebastian's cock, cheeks jiggling with every motion. 

"You're so slutty," Sebastian murmurs, taking the reins once more. He speeds up, arms wrapped around Ciel's waist. "My good boy."

A whine escapes Ciel's mouth when his dick catches against Sebastian's stomach, warm and wet. He leans forward and sinks his teeth into Sebastian's shoulders, face contorted with pleasure. "Cum in me," he says quietly, embarrassment warming his ears. "I want you to cum in me, Daddy."

The sound of skin on skin fills the room, accompanied by that of Sebastian cursing quietly,  _fuck Jesus Christ holy shit oh my god fuck fuck fuck._ He kisses Ciel as he cums, warm sticky wet, inside Ciel, their teeth clicking together with urgency. He does not pull out of or away from Ciel, merely falls back onto the bed, clutching him to his chest. They are both breathing hard, still hard, still horny, but too tired to do anything else about it. 

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," Sebastian pants, hips loose against Ciel's body, "you're the best fuck I've ever had."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've never really written kinbaku type of bondage before, so i hope you guys liked it! i did a lot of research, but if anythings wonky, im really sorry :( also, if you guys like to read manga and also like bdsm stuff...... you should read nana to kaoru! its going to end soon, but its one of my fave manga ever, so go give it your love if you'd like!
> 
> (and if you have read it, sebastian is kaoru, ciel is nana, grell is tachibana-san, and undertaker is sarashina-sensei IM CRYING)
> 
> im also a little rusty writing smut, so if its not the best, please go easy on me! i'll try harder next time.... and i'll get even kinkier


	8. EIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel and Sebastian go out to dinner together. It's almost a date until something unexpected happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year, guys! i hope this year is kind and gentle and brings us all good things. 
> 
> hope you are all doing well! i'm thinking about writing a new fic, lemme know if you guys would be interested in one! this chap is a little short, but i hope you guys still like it. i just wanted to get something out.
> 
> bit of a time lapse here - a few months have passed since the last chapter, its about may here
> 
> (trigger warning for this chapter: brief fighting, homophobic slurs, general nastiness - be safe guys!) 
> 
> enjoy
> 
> much love xoxo

Ciel's brows knit together as he tilts his head to the side. "We're going out for dinner?" He sits in the center of Sebastian's bed in only his boxers and one of Sebastian's after-work-out shirts, legs crossed. His professor had come down with some weird spring cold, so he's been at home all day, watching How to Marry a Millionaire on repeat, slow dancing by himself, squirting canned whipped cream into his mouth.

Stepping out of the closet, Sebastian leans back so that he can see Ciel, a smile on his face. "Of course, kitten. I've got to take you out and show you off every once in a while, right?" He walks over to the bed and sits on the bed, one arm wrapping around the younger male. "Don't you want to get all dressed up for me? We can go wherever you want to eat." Sebastian's eyes are so endearing and bright that Ciel lets out a long, exasperated sigh.

"Fine," he murmurs, running his fingertips through Sebastian's dark hair. It's been getting longer lately, nearly brushes his shirt collar. Ciel's mouth twists wistfully as Sebastian pulls away, stands up, and journeys back to the closet. "Do you want sushi, or do you want French cuisine?" Ciel does his best French accent, making the older man chuckle lowly.

He listens to Sebastian shuffle around in his clothes, and then he peeks back out, brows lifted. "What you're actually asking is 'do you want Urasawa or Melisse,' right?" Sebastian's mouth tips up into a cheeky little smile, and he steps back over to Ciel, leaning in for a kiss. He's been much more affection as of late, pampering Ciel, fucking him harder and more often, kissing up his body after tying him up, helping him study for tests, taking care of him - and Ciel loves it.

Kissing Sebastian is never the same twice. Most of the time, it's heated, bite-y and passionate, but right now, it's soft, sweet, gentle. His fingers curl around the back of Ciel's neck, squeezing him softly. "So, baby," he says, pulling away and returning to the closet, "where did you want to go?"

Ciel's brain goes into information mode, thinking about all of Sebastian's stats: 32 years old, divorce lawyer, in an ambiguous relationship with a 22 year old art student, makes about one million a year. He puffs out his cheeks, lets out a sigh, drama queen he's becoming, and makes a decision. "How about Craft?" he asks, teeth sinking into his bottom lip when Sebastian leans back once more, face incredulous.

"You really want to go there? I used to go there when I was twenty, when I first started law school." He shrugs his shoulders, dips back into the closet. "That's fine with me, kitten." He rustles around for a few minutes and comes back dressed like he's going to work: black slacks (neatly pressed), a white dress shirt (currently unbuttoned), and a pair of black socks (size 12). However, he is missing the Don't Touch Me suit jacket and the I'm In Charge red tie, but everything in Sebastian's posture screams power.

It is always there, resting in the straight stance of his spine, the swell of his biceps, the length of his cock. He is in charge, whether others agree or not. Ciel rubs at his eyes with his palms, so hard that stars dance behind his lids. "Why are you so sexy?"

Sebastian's fingers pause in his work of buttoning, and he looks over at Ciel, one brow lifted. "Genetics," he murmurs, son of a bitch, Ciel can't argue with that. He finishes buttoning his shirt and lifts his head to look back at Ciel. When he speaks, his voice is molasses thick, black coffee smooth. "Get dressed, baby. Put on something nice for Daddy." The nickname leaving his mouth is not at all off-putting - it had become part of their casual way of speaking, of flirting, of fucking.

Ciel lets out a little purr, sensually slides off the bed and makes his way over to Sebastian, fingers hooking into his belt loops. "Why don't I just take my clothes off?" he asks coquettishly, lids heavy. He raises up on his toes to grind his crotch against Sebastian's slyly, earning a hiss from the older man, his fingers curling at the nape of Ciel's neck.

"Be a good boy and save it for later," Sebastian whispers against Ciel's mouth, hands wandering down to cup the younger male's ass, squeezing briefly before pulling away. "Now, go get dressed."

-

Ciel saves it, as Sebastian had said. He saves it until they are seated at their table, something hidden off in a corner, circular with a long, white, tablecloth draped over it. He smiles at their server, who is a darkly tanned man with white hair tucked into a bun, orders a glass of ice water, and sneakily slips off one of his shoes.

The table is small enough that Ciel can reach his foot across and touch Sebastian's lap - bingo. His socked toes press sweetly against Sebastian's crotch, bumping gently against the zipper. He carefully grinds his heel into Sebastian's dick, and tries to bite back a smile when the older man's breath hitches out, mouth wet and open.

"You're going to be in trouble when we get home," Sebastian growls out, voice scraping the sides of his throat.

Ciel tilts his head, grinds his foot in a little bit harder. "Is that so?" he asks, lips curling up in a kittenish way, brows raising. His body fills with satisfaction when Sebastian's hand grips onto the white tablecloth, knuckles prominent against his skin. "Tell me what you'll do to me." He is trying to antagonize Sebastian, to egg the older man on so much that he takes Ciel and tapes his mouth shut and fucks him. He presses his foot in a little bit harder, heat flooding his body as Sebastian grows beneath him, pants going taut at the front.

It's such a satisfying feeling that Ciel can get Sebastian this hard with one a little bit of touching, and a whole lot of teasing.

A gasp works out of Sebastian's mouth when Ciel finds a particularly good spot, and he clears his throat loudly as Ciel's foot slips away from his lap. "Why would I tell you?" he asks, casually shuffling a napkin beneath the tablecloth, hand wiping at the corner of his mouth. "You'll just have to wait until we get back." Sebastian sips at his glass of wine and then shifts in his seat, eyes suddenly curious. "So, how are you doing in school? How's your project coming?"

"It's all right," Ciel says, almost dejectedly, tearing one of the rolls on the table into bits. "You know, my professor just expects so much of me sometimes, and I feel like I can't always give him what he wants." He shakes his head minutely, glancing off to the side. "But it's - it doesn't matter. I guess I just have to suck it up." Taking in a small breath, Ciel flips through the menu, trailing his index finger through the lists of random dishes.

"You've got to stop that, Ciel," Sebastian says, setting down his glass. His eyes are sharp in the restaurant's white lighting, nearly volatile. "You always put yourself down. You're so hard on yourself, on your artwork - but you are so brilliant, and bright; you're so full of life and love, and I'm so lucky to have someone like you at my side." He reaches across the table and takes Ciel's hand in his own, squeezes softly. "Just be kinder to yourself, okay, kitten?"

Tears prick at the back of Ciel's eyes with sea-salt fingertips, hot, hard. He swallows once, twice, three times, before briefly clearing his throat, blinks rapidly. "You're lucky?" Ciel asks, voice quiet, "I'm lucky. I mean - I went into that bar because Alois told me to. I went over to you because I wanted to, because I wanted to see what you would do. You took a chance on me, Sebastian, and I've never been more grateful." He licks his bottom lip uncertainly, scoots forward a little bit. "I've never been more grateful to be with someone, to have someone like you in my life."

His body fills with warmth, and something about the situation, about being with Sebastian makes Ciel feel brave. "You know - when we had that fight at Aleister's house, I was so scared that you hated me. I was so scared that you'd finally see what a horrible, awful person I am, that you'd always like Doll more than me. But, you didn't; you just waited, and you waited for me to come back to you, you waited for me to be ready." Ciel pauses when their waiter returns, dropping off his water. 

They ramble off their orders, and the man scuttles off as if he was never there, leaving Ciel and Sebastian alone in their own little world again. 

"You're not a horrible person, Ciel," Sebastian murmurs. "You're the least horrible person I know - and I know a lot; I'm a divorce lawyer." He leans forward, ever so slightly, tracing a small pattern on the back of Ciel's hand.

Ciel lets out a soft little laugh, glancing back at Sebastian. "It's just so crazy to me - that you still want me, for me, and nothing else. You've seen the real me, the ugly me that's inside, and you didn't completely drop me. I'm glad that we have each other." He wants to stand up, lean across the table, and kiss Sebastian on the mouth, hard enough to taste blood and teeth and tongue - but he is interrupted by someone clearing their throat; his entire body runs cold. It is a sound that has been drilled into his head as a child, a noise like granite against a cheese grater, angry, cynical, judgmental. 

He turns slowly to the left, body going stiff, to see his father standing beside their table, his hands shoved into his pockets. Everything inside Ciel's body turns to ice, and he's grateful that their food hasn't arrived yet, because he is moments away from dry-heaving up everything he's eaten in the past three days, right there, in front of God and everyone. 

His father looks just as he had the night that he kicked Ciel out: hair perfectly gelled into place, suit neatly pressed and free of any lint or stray hair, eyes full of hatred and anger. "Well, well, well," he sneers, mouth turned up into something ugly, "so this is what you've been doing since you left."

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Sebastian asks, only to be ignored by Vincent, who gets closer to the table and his son, fingers grabbing at Ciel's face, his thumb and index finger digging into the younger male's cheeks.

"Are you some sort of prostitute now, Ciel?" He leans in, their noses nearly touching. "Do you let this old faggot fuck you, and does he pay you for it?" He is about to say something else hateful, something else that digs nails into Ciel's skin, when he is suddenly thrown the floor, Sebastian towering over him.

"Don't ever touch him again." His voice is dark, set in a baritone that Ciel has never heard before, and it brings goosebumps to his skin - he is more afraid of Sebastian than he is of his father in this instance. There is something horrifying, something predatory in his mannerisms. "If I ever see you again, I'll kill you," he says evenly, snapping his fingers together briefly at Ciel. "Come on, kid. We're going home." 

Ciel silently gets up - carefully,  _carefully,_ walking on eggshells around his father, just as he has always done - as Sebastian sets a few twenties on the table before taking the younger male's hand, interlacing their fingers. He mutters some apologies to the rest of the diners, their server, and a flustered-looking man that stands beside the door.

Once they're outside, Sebastian cups Ciel's face in his hands, eyes wide. "Are you okay?" he asks, sincerity dripping from his voice. There is no malice, no anger, no hatred - only deep care and something akin to love. He is worried about Ciel, worried about what his father had done to him. "Did he hurt you?"

"I'm all right," Ciel responds quietly, reaching up to curl his fingers around Sebastian's wrist. "I just want to go home.  _Please._ Take me home."

Sebastian nods, straightens up. "Okay, baby. I'll take you home."

 


	9. NINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When life gets bad, go to the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i've been mia for so long - i just havent had the motivation for anything lately, sorry. 
> 
> also, two things: a lil smut + someone makes a surprise introduction
> 
> thanks for sticking around, even now.
> 
> enjoy
> 
> much love xoxo

"He hasn't gotten out of bed in almost a week, Nina." Sebastian stands in the middle of the kitchen, leaning against the island, one hand at his hip. He speaks more softly than usual; even though Ciel is tucked away upstairs, he still has ears like a hawk, Sebastian doesn't want to upset him further. "He's just been so bummed out about this whole thing - seeing his dad really freaked him out, and I think I made it even worse."

Nina sits on the counter opposite him, arms crossed over her chest. "You have to get him away from here, Sebastian." She pushes her glasses up with an index finger, lets out a little sigh. "Come on, I mean, you're Mr. Money Bags! You're Daddy Warbucks, and instead of taking that boy someplace nice, you are letting him suffer in bed, like some depressed teenager." Nina shakes her head, fixing Sebastian with a nasty look. "You need to take him somewhere nice, where it's warm, where he can see the beach, and you can see him in some little trunks."

"Take him somewhere? You mean like Italy or something?" Sebastian tilts his head in thought. He wants to take care of his boy, wants to see Ciel smile again, wants to chase him around a giant villa in the Italian countryside in only their underwear. He lets out a long sigh, scratches briefly at the back of his neck. "Fine. If that's what it takes to get Ciel out of bed, I'll do it. It kills me to see him like this, Nina - it's like living with Doll all over again."

Nina's chin quivers, doe eyes apologetic behind her glasses. "I know, darling, I know. But, Ciel is  _here,_ with you. He's not forever memorialized in some picture frame in the living room. He's still living and breathing, and he's hurting right now. He needs you to be there for him, and regardless of what rules you have for your relationship, that boy loves you." She smiles, hands clasped against her chest. "He lights up when you're around, when he talks about you, it's like you hung up the stars. I know you want to try to keep love out of this because you don't want him to get hurt and you don't want to get hurt, but I think it would be okay, y'know."

Sebastian glances briefly at his watch. It's a little after five in the evening; he needs to make something for dinner, needs to get something into Ciel's stomach. "You're right," he murmurs, fingers absently moving upward to loosen his tie. "Would you mind watching over the house while we're gone? Make sure the mail doesn't pile up, the plants don't die, and Alois doesn't come in and crash or anything?"

"Of course, baby. You know I'd do anything for you." She slips off of the counter, head slightly tilted. "Now, go tell your boy what's going on - and don't take "no" for an answer. Don't push him around, or anything, but be that strong, persuasive lawyer I know that you are." Nina sneakily smacks Sebastian on the ass, mouth curled up into a smile. "Go get him, Sebastian. Get him out of bed, and pack his bags - or, even better, take him shopping. Pamper him. Get him some new clothes."

Taking in a deep breath, Sebastian nods, mostly to himself. "You're right," he says again. "All right, get out. Go home. I'll let you know when we're leaving, so that you can come over. I have three rules, though: stay out our bedroom, don't break anything, and  _please,_ don't order any weird pay-per-view porn or anything like that - I know how you are." Letting out a loud sigh, he lets his hands rest loosely at his hips. "All right," he says firmly, shoulders raising with something akin to determination. "Let's do this."

Nina chuckles and silently slips out of the front door, leaving Sebastian alone with his thoughts. He stands in the kitchen silently for a few minutes, fingers clenching and unclenching to a rhythm that matches the blood pulsing in his ears, too loud to hear anything else. "I can do this," he murmurs beneath his breath before making a trip up the stairs, pretending that he is walking into a tense courtroom, tie knotted so tight he can hardly breathe.

"Ciel?" he whispers as he pushes their bedroom door open slowly, fingers resting at the strikeplate. 

His boy stirs quietly, sheets catching against his pale legs. Sebastian creeps over to the unoccupied side of the bed, slips into it silently, his body curling against Ciel's. He strokes a hand through Ciel's hair, which is beginning to get greasy - he hadn't been able to coax the younger male into the shower with him, no matter how hard he tried. "Sweetheart, you have to get out of bed." Sebastian keeps his voice calm, quiet, pressing his nose against the nape of Ciel's neck.

"I don't want to," Ciel says listlessly, voice rumbling through his chest. 

"I know, but you have to." Sebastian tucks an arm around him, pulling him even closer. "I want to take you somewhere nice, somewhere warm, where we can see the sun." He squeezes Ciel reassuringly, thumb stroking small circles against his skin. "I just want to take care of you," he murmurs, swallowing hard when Ciel lets out a little sound, soft and sound.

Ciel's voice cracks when he attempts to speak - he clears his throat and tries again. "I hate being like this," he whispers, voice trembling. "I tried so hard to be brave, but - seeing my dad just really fucked me up. You know, I had always tried to be a good kid, to do what he wanted me to do, and when I left, it felt like this big weight had been lifted off of me, like I didn't have to please him anymore, I - I didn't have to do what he told me anymore." He sniffs; Sebastian is pretty sure he's crying now. "Seeing him just brought back all those bad feelings and - I can't make them go away. It's like I never left home." He takes in a ragged breath, body shuddering with a quiet sob.

Rage heats Sebastian's veins - for the past week, Ciel's face upon seeing his father had been flashing through Sebastian's mind on a loop: ghostly white, oceanic eyes wide, mouth slightly open. He tightens his hold on Ciel, attempting to shield him from nasty memories, from anything that may haunt him. "You don't have to worry about that, Ciel," he says quietly, teeth gritted. "If I see him again, it's going to be very bad for him." He noses against the shell of Ciel's ear, mouth tipped up into a small smile. "Come on, baby. Please let me take you away from here. I just want to make you happy, make you feel good again, kitten."

The room is filled with silence; a beat goes by before Ciel says, very quietly, "all right. Where will you take me?"

-

Despite being a little past six in the morning, LAX is still busy and bustling, alive with businesswomen and single dads, teenagers holding hands, elderly people scooting past in little wheelchairs. Sebastian holds fast to Ciel's hand, their fingers intertwined. He's dressed more casually, in the first pair of jeans that Ciel has ever seen him wear, a loose fitting black t-shirt, and a pair of flat sneakers. It's kind of alluring, seeing Mr. Suit and Tie dressed down.

Ciel stifles a yawn as they slip into the fast-pass TSA line, shoes on, bags rifled through. They stop by a Starbucks before taking a seat by their terminal, coffees and little breakfast sandwiches in hand. "When are you going to tell me where we're going?" he asks, leaning his head against Sebastian's shoulder. The older man had hid the flight tickets from him, any order papers, anything that might give away the location of their trip, leaving Ciel completely in the dark.

Beside him, Sebastian chuckles, squeezing Ciel's thigh. "I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise, little one. But, be prepared - it is a bit of a long flight. However, it's a one-way trip; I had to finagle my way into it, but I managed to do it." He turns his head slightly to look at Ciel, brows drawn. "I just want to make sure that you'll have a good time, so if at any time or point, you want to go home, just say the words, okay? I just want to make you happy, but I don't want you to be unhappy with my surprise."

"You've never made me unhappy before," Ciel murmurs, pressing his nose beneath Sebastian's ear. 

To anyone else, they must look like an actual couple, not the relationship that they've got going on. Ciel wishes they could be more, wishes he could say  _I love you_ like he's been dying to - the week he spent cooped up in bed had only solidified his feelings for Sebastian, what with all the pet names and hair stroking and assisted feeding that Sebastian has been doling out, it's hard to not to love him. He's a good man, soft on the inside, hard on the outside - like an eclair. The shiny exterior is for work purposes, but the gooey center is for Ciel.

He wishes he could tell Sebastian, could explain exactly how much the older man means to him, but he doesn't want Sebastian to cut him off, doesn't want to hear his father's words leave Sebastian's mouth:  _I expect you to be out of this house by 8 o'clock._

Ciel presses his knee against Sebastian and leans in a little closer. "Will we have plenty of time to fool around while we're off in this place?" A few seats away, a mother of many children gives them a distasteful look, her nose wrinkled.

"We can fool around anywhere," Sebastian responds, fingers getting dangerously close to Ciel's inner thigh. "Would you like to join the Mile High Club?"

-

They are approximately 37,000 feet in the air when Ciel slips quietly into the bathroom, the first class passengers distracted with half-full glasses of champagne and a continuous loop of Slingblade. He waits for a few minutes for Sebastian to accompany him, their bodies close together in the tight quarters. 

He raises up on his toes to kiss Sebastian, open-mouthed, while unbuckling his jeans and fisting a hand down into his boxers. Ciel carefully pulls Sebastian's cock out, lovingly strokes his thumb over the already wet tip; he chuckles against Sebastian's mouth.

"Have you been waiting for this?" he asks, tilting his head coquettishly, tongue poking out ever so slightly. He's trying to be flirty, trying to be the sexy boy that had first met Sebastian all those months ago at the bar. "Do you want to fuck me, or do you just want me to jerk you off?"

Sebastian pulls his back in for more kisses, sweeter, wetter ones. "I'm going to make you feel good," he says, "as quickly as I can." He manages to lift Ciel up and balance him - a little awkwardly - on the sink that juts out from the wall, rolls his pants down to his ankles, and sticks two fingers into his ass.

Ciel bites back a moan - there is no warning, no preparation or anything, only a flash of white-hot pleasure.  _God,_ he's missed Sebastian. He clenches his teeth when Sebastian's fingers pull out and his cock pumps in, filling him to the brim. There is something different about this time that they have sex, something softer, quieter. 

"Are you okay?" Sebastian breathes out, forehead pressed to Ciel's. His mouth hangs open slightly, lips wet with spit and want. "Talk to me, baby. I n-fuck-need to know how you're doing."

"Fine," Ciel murmurs, heat building low in his abdomen, his fingers curling against Sebastian's forearm. He's never been this gentle before, never been this slow. Perhaps it's because they are fucking on a plane full of people flying over the Atlantic Ocean nearly 40,000 feet in the air. Whatever the reason, Ciel wants to savor every moment of it: from the wet sounds in between them, to the way Sebastian's fingers are curled at the nape of Ciel's neck. He wishes someone would come in and take a picture of them, raw and quietly in love, and hang it in the MoMA. He wants to remember this moment forever, wants to have it engraved in his mind for the rest of their lives.

-

They are still hanging over the ocean when Ciel wakes up from his nap. He is crushed against Sebastian's chest, the older man's head tilted slightly to the side. He's never seen Sebastian heavily asleep before - Sebastian is an early bird by habit, Ciel would stay in bed all day if he were allowed. There is no harshness to Sebastian's face, no signs of stress or anger, only smooth skin and gently fluttering lashes.

Ciel takes in a small breath, quickly jotting down this image in his brain, filing it away in Section S, subject line: Sebastian. The file is almost overflowing, filled to the brim with every touch, kiss, chuckle, glance in his direction. He wants to hold onto everything that Sebastian shows him, every different expression, every slight change in his voice - all of it. He wants every part of Sebastian, every single thing.

He exhales quietly and presses his head back against Sebastian's chest, shutting his eyes as he allows the older man's heartbeat to lull him back to sleep.

-

The second time that Ciel wakes up, he is being shaken by Sebastian, whose ruby eyes glisten excitedly in the bright daylight. "We're here, baby," he murmurs, pressing a few kisses to Ciel's face, mainly his nose and forehead. "The plane just landed, so you've gotta get up now." He helps Ciel get up, and watches carefully as the younger male stretches his arms up over his head, a near pornographic whine slipping from his lips.

Sebastian's brows raise. "Really?" he chuckles, pulling the little curtain beside their seats open, a smile on his face.

Heat colors Ciel's cheeks and he ducks his head minutely. "Shut up," he murmurs, sliding out behind Sebastian, gratefully taking his suitcase when Sebastian gets it down for him. "So, we're here - are you gonna tell me where we are?"

Chuckling, Sebastian leads Ciel off of the plane, his fingers tight around Ciel's. "We still have a little ways to go until we get to our final location, but I suppose I can give you a small hint." They walk through the sturdy tube that leads from plane to airport, Sebastian with his hand at the nape of Ciel's neck, their bodies close enough to touch. "We're in Naples," he murmurs as they step through the gate, and Ciel's breath hitches in his throat.

"We're in Italy?" he asks, voice a bit dumbfounded. When Sebastian only chuckles in a response, Ciel spins around, his fingers touching gently against Sebastian's chest. "You've got to be kidding me, Sebastian! Those tickets must've cost you a fortune!" Despite the harsh tone in his voice, there is a smile spread across Ciel's face, one that matches that on Sebastian's. 

He leans in for a quick kiss, one that is unseen by most. "This is the first time you've smiled in about a week," Sebastian whispers, curling his fingers behind Ciel's left ear. "Yes, we're in Italy - but, we need to go catch a car to take us where we're meant to be." He ruffles Ciel's hair and steps backward, holding out a hand. "I just wanted to take you somewhere nice, baby - you deserve to be treated good, and when we first started this whole thing, I told you that I would take care of you."

Ciel squeezes his fingers. "You have been taking care of me, Sebastian. You always put me first, regardless of what's going on, or who else is involved. Ever since we met, you ask me how I'm doing or how school's going or how my day was... you're too good to me."

They step out into the street, and Ciel waits quietly as Sebastian dials someone, pressing the cell phone to his ear. The sun is warm against Ciel's skin; he could curl up on the curb right here and take a nap, content as a cat sunbathing in the kitchen. It's a lovely place, full of smiling people that shout to each other in languages that Ciel doesn't understand, but he loves it all already. Sebastian speaks into the phone, still holding Ciel's hand.

When he hangs up, Sebastian turns back towards Ciel, a finger tilting his chin upwards. "I want to be good to you, baby. You know, after Doll, I never thought that I'd get in another relationship - sure, I flirted and I fooled around, but, it never felt right." His face goes soft; the world continues to bustle around them, but Ciel has never felt more isolated, just him and Sebastian. "Buying you a drink was the best thing I ever did."

 _I love you_ dances on Ciel's tongue, sweet like honey in his mouth. He wants to say it so badly, wants to let Sebastian know exactly how he feels, how he's felt for months, but he doesn't want to upset him. Instead, Ciel opts for a smile, clenching his teeth. "I couldn't agree more," he says, blood pulsing loudly in his ears.

A car, sleek and black, sidles up beside them. The door opens and a tall, clean looking man gets out, sunglasses glinting in the bright light. He's wearing a well tailored suit and is slightly shorter than Sebastian, but much more slender, lacking Sebastian's broad shoulders and well muscled biceps.

Sebastian drops Ciel's hand to pull the other man into a hug, slapping him twice on the back. "How are you, Will? It's been a while."

Ciel's eyebrows draw together in confusion.  _Will?_ He had never heard Sebastian mention anyone by this name before; there are no pictures of him hanging on the wall in the living room, where Sebastian had so thoroughly documented everyone that he had come in contact with. Unease rises in Ciel's chest as the stranger -  _Will_ \- pulls his sunglasses down to the bridge of his nose, displaying bright green eyes.

"Who do we have here?" he asks, a smile creeping onto his face. From his demeanor, Ciel is faintly reminded of Aleister Chamber, silver and sleazy, too nosy. However, unlike sad, pathetic, desperately clingy Aleister, this man oozes power and control, in a way that is different than Sebastian. He makes the surrounding atmosphere feel like winter, dark and eerie. He makes Ciel want to run away, heart racing.

Sebastian places a hand on the small of Ciel's back. "Ciel, this is Will. We used to be business partners after college." He pushes Ciel forward a little, to where Will stands with his hand extended. How can Sebastian trust this man? How can he stand to be so close to him? 

"Pleased to meet you," Ciel says as he shakes Will's hand, hoping that his face does not give him away.

Will chuckles, pulling his hand away. "Firm grip," he notes, pulling a black cigarette case out of his jacket pocket, fumbling briefly to light it. "Well, better get in the car, we don't have all day." The cigarette crackles as he inhales, a smirk on his face. "You wanna ride up front?" he asks Ciel, brows cocked.

"No, thank you," Ciel says, stepping back to Sebastian's side. "I'm fine."

Sebastian scoffs and moves to put the suitcases in the car's trunk. "Sorry, Will. He's a snappy little shit sometimes, but he's a good kid, I promise."

"I'm sure he's great," Will murmurs, head tilted in a way that makes Ciel nervous. "Maybe I'll find out." His lips turn up into a little smile, and Ciel watches, standing numbly, as he walks over to the driver's side door and disappears from sight.


	10. TEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is easy breezy - except for the creep that won't leave Ciel alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so its been a hot minute, huh? i've had about 0 energy for the past couple of months, hence why theres been 0 updates. sorry guys. 
> 
> also i've been debating whether this fic is really worth it or not - meaning i'm not sure if i should keep going, rewrite it again, or just scrap the whole thing. 
> 
> hope you're all well.
> 
> enjoy
> 
> much love xoxo

"He's totally creepy," Ciel says into the phone's mouthpiece, spread out on his stomach, ankles crossed behind his back. They've only been in Italy for a day, but Ciel is already in love with it. Their hotel room is big and bright, with a beautiful view of the Amalfi Coast's glistening waters, clear and turquoise. The only thing that Ciel isn't entirely crazy about is Will. "He follows Sebastian around like a fucking puppy, and he's always staring at me; it's freaky."

On the other line, Alois lets out a stifled yawn. It's a little past ten in the morning in Italy, a little past ten at night back home in California. "Is he at least hot?" he asks, earning a low sigh from Ciel. "What? It's not every day that  _you_ have two men interested in you, especially in a nice ass place like Amalfi." A smirk appears in his voice, and Ciel can practically see it. "Maybe you can get them to double team you."

"I'm going to hang up on you," Ciel says, lips pulling into a grimace. "And  _no,_ he's not hot. Like I said, he's creepy as hell."

"Whatever, nerd. I'm just saying that if the opportunity arises to get dp'ed, you should take it!"

Ciel sits up and shudders, shoulders raising towards his ears. "All right, all right, I'm hanging up - I can't take anymore of this. Take care of yourself, tell Claude I said hi, and stop picking at that thing on your arm; it'll go away if you just leave it alone." He hangs up after Alois tells him goodbye, and spreads out like a starfish on the bed. He listens to the sound of the ocean outside the balcony, to Sebastian humming to himself in the shower.

He could stay here forever - just him and Sebastian, finally in love, no college, no Alois or Claude, no dead ex-boyfriends, no shitty dads - just them and the ocean. Ciel rolls over onto his side when the shower cuts off, smiles when Sebastian comes out in a cloud of steam, skin glistening with water.

"Good morning, kitten," Sebastian says, dark eyes unusually bright. He's beginning to get a bit of a tan, freckles gathering at the tops of his shoulders. Ciel loves him. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did," Ciel responds, sitting up in the bed. He watches as Sebastian tugs on a pair of boxers over his finely haired thighs, elastic band snapping into his skin. "How do you always look so good?" he asks, rolling onto his stomach, fist resting beneath his chin.

Sebastian smiles, stepping into a pair of shorts. "I'm afraid you've asked me that before, love, and the answer is still  _genetics._ Now, what do you want to do today?" He crosses over to the bed and lays down beside Ciel, curling against him in an embrace. "We could go out to the ocean, or get breakfast, or, we could just fuck all day with the balcony open, and then get room service?"

Ciel's teeth sink into his bottom lip as he tries to hold back a smile, rolling over on top of Sebastian. "And then we could go to the ocean?" he asks, leaning in for a kiss.

"Whatever you want," Sebastian murmurs into his mouth, fingers curling into Ciel's feather-soft hair.

"I want you," Ciel whispers, kissing Sebastian again gently, fingers hooking into the belt loops of Sebastian's shorts as the older man settles between his thighs. "You're all mine - and I'm all yours." He pecks at Sebastian's lips, once twice three times,  _kiss kiss kiss,_ and God almighty, does he loves Sebastian. He loves him in a way that he hasn't anyone else - he loves him softly and fervently all at once, loves him hot and cold, loves loves  _loves_ him.

A small growl escapes from Sebastian's throat as he catches Ciel's hands in his own, pinning them above Ciel's head. "All mine, huh?" he questions, brows lifting. "No one else's?" He kisses at Ciel's neck, lips warm and ticklish. Sebastian is clean-shaven, skin winter crisp and smooth against Ciel's own. He smells clean and manly, something faintly woodsy and firm.

Ciel's knees draw inward, pressing into Sebastian's sides. "Just yours," he responds, breathlessly. His fingertips card through Sebastian's damp hair, curling at the nape of his neck.  _I love you_ rests on his tongue again, swirling around inside Sebastian's mouth. He could just say it, just see what happens - and if anything goes wrong, he can just wade out into the ocean and never come back. He takes a deep breath in when Sebastian's fingers pad beneath his shirt, ice cold and electric.

"Sebastian," he whines, fingers tightening into Sebastian's shoulders, pale skin going yellow and then red, "Sebastian, I lo-"

A cacophony of knocks, almost musical in tone, interrupts Ciel's confession. His mouth hangs slack as Sebastian pulls off of him, teeth clenched. "Hold that thought, kitten; I thought I put the fucking  _do not disturb_ sign up." He pads barefoot over to the door, a looming shadow, and yanks it open, only to immediately soften upon seeing the devil himself, Will.

Ciel gathers the bed's duvet around his body, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and irritation. 

"Will!" he says, and even though Ciel cannot see his face, he hears the smile in Sebastian's voice and is overcome with jealousy. "What are you doing here?"

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Will says, and even though Ciel can see the grin on his face, he can hear the venom in his voice, clear as day. He hates him, hates him for being creepy and for ruining their day and from keeping them from fucking. He hates Will for interrupting his confession. The moment has passed; his nerve is gone. "I just wanted to see if you two wanted to go out to dinner with me, tonight. My treat, a special vacation gift."

Sebastian glances backwards at Ciel, who tries to keep his face indifferent. "What do you say, sweetheart? Want to get dinner tonight with Will?"

Ciel licks nervously at his bottom lip. "I thought we were getting room service." He tries to speak telepathically to Sebastian,  _no, I don't want to fucking have dinner with Will. Slam the door in his face and tell me you love me._ He fights down these nasty thoughts and sighs, shaking his head loosely. "That's fine, Sebastian. I guess we do have the rest of the week here - we can get room service anytime." 

"It's settled then," Will says, leaning in the doorway. He's still dressed all in black, despite it being sunny and warm outside. "I'll be by at 7 to pick you two up. Don't keep me waiting."

Sebastian chuckles, shoulders lifting minutely. "I wouldn't dream of it. We'll see you later." He shuts the door once Will disappears from sight, and turns back towards Ciel. "Well, now, little one, where were we?"

Ciel feigns innocence, fluttering lashes. "I'm not sure, Daddy."  _Definitely not about to tell you that I love you._ He has lost all confidence in the confession, but not in getting fucked. He pushes down the duvet, exposing velvet soft thighs, bony ankles and wrists.

"You can't tell me you've forgotten where we were," Sebastian says, voice deepening as he straightens up, unzipping his shorts. His fingers linger against the metal, painfully slow, zipper teeth clicking quietly in the silence of the room. "Looks like I'll have to remind you." He drops his shorts to the ground and moves languidly over to Ciel, who shrieks with laughter when Sebastian kisses him all over, starting at the top of his head, down his forehead, both of his cheeks, the tip of his nose, his mouth, down his neck, across his collarbones, past his sternum, his bellybutton, finally to the soft flesh of his inner thighs.

"My boy," he murmurs, bending Ciel's left leg at the knee, pressing it down towards his chest. "My pretty boy."

Ciel's skin shimmers with the praise, head going pink and fuzzy. "More," he whispers, fingers reaching up towards Sebastian's face as his head falls back against the pillow. "Tell me more." The ceiling is bright white, smooth, illuminated by the sun that creeps in from the open balcony. He wonders if people can see them from the dining area outside, can see them from the beach. He wonders if they look like they are in love.

Sebastian lips press into Ciel's thigh. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," he murmurs, voice buzzing against Ciel's skin. "I was so lonely before I met you. You've made me so happy." His mouth moves upward ever slightly, warm breath ghost goosebumps over Ciel's body. "My good, smart, beautiful boy."

Tears blur in Ciel's vision as Sebastian mouths more praise against his flesh. He loves Sebastian. He loves him. He takes in a deep, shuddering breath, tears running hot into his ears. "You're too good to me," he whispers, quiet as a church mouse. He sees Sebastian sit up in a blurry haze, his face coming into focus when he cradles Ciel's face in his large, cool hands.

"What's wrong, baby? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He brushes away the wetness on Ciel's face with the pads of his thumbs, kissing Ciel softly. "I'm sorry," he repeats, curling Ciel against his chest.

"I'm just so happy," Ciel says, fingers tucked against Sebastian's skin. In this moment, they are lovers - Sebastian is a church, a priest, and Ciel is confessing, a sinner. "I've never been so happy, and I'm always scared that - that something bad is going to happen. Like that night outside Aleister's house, or, or when my dad showed up at the restaurant." He presses his nose against Sebastian's neck. "I hate letting you see the messy parts of my life, I'm so scared that you'll hate me if I do something wrong, and I don't want that." 

He raises his head, eyes red-rimmed and sparkling.

Sebastian cards his fingers through Ciel's hair, their foreheads meeting. "You're such a child," he teases, a small smile on his face. "I'm not sure what I'd do without you, Ciel. Life is messy, and you just have to accept it. We push through things, we learn from them." He laces his fingers through Ciel's, presses a kiss against his knuckles. "When you were gone, I was nearly beside myself with guilt. I lost a case because I couldn't get you out of my head; I was jerking off like a teenager, thinking about you."

"Really?" Ciel lets out a little laugh, teeth worrying his bottom lip. "I yelled at my friend's older brother and then ran all the way to Alois' apartment."

Sebastian's eyes widen, flash in the bright light. "Guess we're no good without each other, huh, kitten?" He kisses Ciel's mouth gently, fingers curling behind his ear. "I'm so glad you went into the bar," he says, and Ciel feels as if they've known each other for a lifetime, somewhere far behind, somewhere they have never traveled. 

"Me too." Ciel falls quiet. Maybe he doesn't need to tell Sebastian that he loves him. Maybe he already knows.

-

Will shows up nearly two hours late. It's almost nine o'clock by the time he calls Sebastian, telling him that he's outside their hotel. 

"Fucker," Sebastian swears beneath his breath when he hangs up. "He's outside, that bastard. I'd rather he just not show up at all."

Ciel chuckles as he buttons up his shirt before walking over towards Sebastian. "I love it when you talk like that. You'd be so much hotter if you swore all the time. My own pretend sailor." He giggles when Sebastian cranes his head to kiss him, smiling against his mouth. "We really don't have to go," he says, fingers hooking into the belt loops of Sebastian's slacks. "We could just stay here for the rest of the vacation, just you and me."

"Whatever you want, baby, but it would be good for us to get out. Will's an old friend, and I haven't seen him in a quite a while; we can go get dinner, a couple of drinks, and then we'll come back here, and you'll be all mine again." He kisses the corner of Ciel's mouth and grabs his hand, pulling the younger male through the door and down a few flights of stairs out into the cool evening.

Will is leaning against the passenger door of his car, hands shoved into his pockets. His thin brows lift minutely, a grin creeping over his lips. "Took you two long enough," he says, straightening up, and Sebastian squeezes Ciel's hand in place of punching Will. "I made reservations at this nice little restaurant near the ocean, let's go."

He pulls open the passenger door, eyes focused on Ciel. "Finally want to sit up front with me?"

_Not really_ almost comes out of Ciel's mouth, but Sebastian pushes him forward, hand at the small of his back. "Go on, kitten, I'll sit in the back." 

Ciel opens his mouth to protest, but begrudging slides into the passenger seat, mouth twisted into a grimace. He glances at Sebastian in the side mirror, amazed at how absolutely  _blind_ the man could be sometimes. He's sitting there in peace, while Ciel is forced to sit next to some creep that won't stop staring at him. 

They drive a little ways, before Will speaks, his hand resting on the center console. "So, Ciel, how did you and Sebastian meet?" His eyes glint in the lights that flit by, emerald and dangerous. "I'm just curious as to how I can find someone as cute as you for myself."

"We met at a bar," Ciel deadpans, cutting his eyes over to Will. "He bought me a drink, and we just went from there." He tries to keep his voice nonchalant, like he doesn't totally hate Will, even though he doesn't really know him - but Ciel is a good judge of character. He was right about his father being a shithead, about Alois being a good friend, about Sebastian being a good fuck and an even better person, and he knows that he'll be right about Will being a total creep.

Will's brows lift almost imperceptibly, and he swings the steering wheel in a lazy circle, parking in front of an old looking brick building.

"A drink, huh?" He pulls the keys from the ignition, a smile still on his face. "I'll keep that in mind."

Ciel's lips pull back in a grimace as he gets out of the car, hanging back for Sebastian. He latches onto Sebastian's fingers, chest pressed against his arm. "Stay close to me," he murmurs, reaching up on his tiptoes to nose behind Sebastian's ear.

The older man lets out a chuckle, a fond smile tugging at his mouth. "Clingy," he responds, winding his fingers through Ciel's. "You're lucky that I like you so much, little one. Come on, dinner's waiting for us, albeit a few hours later than we're used to, huh?"

-

They get seated quickly, at a quiet, dimly corner where Ciel and Sebastian sit side by side, facing Will. Sebastian does his best to translate the menu, but Will ultimately ends up ordering for them, a pheasant hen ravioli for himself, something called scorpion fish for Sebastian, and oysters  _somethingorother_ for Ciel. He produces a bottle of wine, something pink and pretty, and sets it in front of Ciel, a smile on his face.

"Consider it a welcoming gift, from me to you. I hope you like rosé," he says, resting his chin on his knuckles, brows raised.

Ciel licks his bottom lip nervously, reminding himself to relax,  _unclench your teeth._ "I've never been much of a wine person," he responds quietly, fingers twisting into the napkin spread across his lap. When Sebastian nudges him gently in the ribs, he flinches, swallows hard. "But I guess a little can't hurt."

Will smiles, straightens up, pours Ciel a glass. The wine is cool and slightly sweet, tingling at the back of Ciel's throat. He sips slowly, eyes focused on Sebastian's hands where they rest on the table, fingers long and deft, nails cut short and clean, cuticles pushed back. He doesn't want to look at Will, doesn't want to make eye contact. He can feel the older man's eyes on him, bioluminescent, haunting, burning a hole into Ciel's pale skin.

When their food arrives, they eat quietly, steadily, Ciel leaning against Sebastian to sample some his food, leading forkfuls of his own up to Sebastian's mouth. They giggle, smile, drink, flirt, dab napkins at each other's faces. Ciel pointedly ignores Will, teeth coming together every time the other male tries to interrupt them, cooing at Ciel, offering his own food to him, asking if he wants more wine, more bread, anything else - even with Ciel answering  _no no no, I'm alright_ each time. 

He can see Will get more and more irritated with every rejection, mouth straightening out into a mean, harsh line, eyes never leaving Ciel's face.

"Excuse me," Sebastian says, folding his napkin before pushing his chair away from the table. "I'll be back in just a minute; Will, watch over Ciel, please."

Ciel's mouth falls open, eyes going wide. "Wait, where are you going?"

"Bathroom," Sebastian replies breezily, leaning in for a quick kiss, straightening up. He pushes his chair back in and disappears from sight, leaving Ciel, frozen in place, alone with Will.

He turns back slowly, to see Will, eyes heavily lidded, a seductive smile on his face. "I guess it's just you and me, now," he murmurs quietly, tilting his head minutely to the side. "I know that you're not an idiot - and I know that you're not the kind to cheat on Sebastian." He leans forward minutely, fingers laced beneath his chin. "I'd like to fuck you," he says, teeth glinting in the low light. "You may not be welcoming to it right now, but, considering the way you put away that wine, you'll be changing your mind very soon."

Ciel's veins go ice cold when he glances at the quarter-empty bottle, fists clenching. "What - what did you do?" he asks, voice quiet, full of fear.

"Don't be scared, little one," Will murmurs. "Sebastian told me to watch over you, and I fully intend to." He smiles eerily, tipping more wine into Ciel's glass. "Go on, drink up. It'll make everything easier."

Ciel fumbles for his cell phone, only to remember -  _shit, Sebastian has it._ His vision goes dark as it pinpoints on Will, everything suddenly trapped in molasses. His hands tremble, slick with sweat. "Sebastian's going to kill you," he slurs, tongue suddenly too thick, too dry in his mouth. "You're a fucking monster." He tries to grip onto the side of the table but slips, body too weak to hold himself up.

"The lock on the bathroom door is broken," Will responds. "It's partially why I made reservations here; he's not going to be able to get out without a little elbow grease." He lifts his fingers to the air, summoning their waiter, who seems to magically produce the check within mere seconds. He tucks a series of bills into the checkbook and stands up, placing a hand at the back of Ciel's neck, supporting his body with an arm wrapped around his waist. "And now, you're coming home with me."


	11. ELEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian gets his boy back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chap is pretty short and a lil violent - sebby gets real mad. i just wanna warn you guys in advance, i wanna keep you lil babies safe
> 
> hope you're all well, and i hope you all enjoyed the last update!
> 
> enjoy
> 
> much love xoxo

Sebastian pushes his sleeves up, pumping soap into his hands before scrubbing them together, the water ice cold against his skin. He glances at his watch briefly, a gift from Nina ages ago, something shiny and sleek. It's a little after ten o'clock - he wants to head home, get Ciel undressed, cover him in hickeys and the post-sex-glow that makes his boy seem to shimmer, cheeks flushed red, eyes like sapphires, mouth rosy and wet.

He grabs the door handle with a paper towel and tugs, but to no avail. He jimmies the silver handle uselessly, fingers slick against the metal.  _Oh shit._ The door must be broken. There had been no signs to warn him, no one to stop him, no one to let him know. 

Sebastian digs in his pocket for his cellphone, only to pull out Ciel's along with it.  _Fuck._ Taking a deep breath in, Sebastian straightens up, turns his body sideways, and rams his shoulder into the door. It makes a sickening splitting sound, but does not open. Teeth sinking into his bottom lip, Sebastian inhales again through his nose, eyes squeezed shut. He slams into the bathroom door once more, full force, and it pops open.

No one comes running to chastise him for breaking open their already broken door, so Sebastian breezily walks back towards their table, body light and happy - until he notices that there's three people he doesn't know sitting there. He looks around, brows drawn together in confusion. "Excuse me," he murmurs, tapping their waiter on the arm, "do you know where the rest of my party went? I was with a short, younger man and a taller man."

The waiter tilts his head, fingers nervously touching at his tie. "They left a few moments ago," he says, voice heavily accented. 

"Excuse me?" 

"They paid for the bill, and left." His mouth dips into a frown. "Is everything all right?"

Sebastian's hands flex into fists, blunt nails digging into his palms. "No, but it will be." He pushes past a cluster of customers that are waiting to be seated, sprinting out into the cool evening air. The moon hangs high the sky, full, fat and beautiful. He does his best to remember where Will lives - Sebastian had visited him once before, years ago, before Ciel, before Doll. He had been younger then, still just as blind.

How had he not noticed? Ciel had been clinging to him like a baby, eyes wide when he had gotten up to go to the bathroom. Sebastian flags down a taxi, his breath coming out short and hard as he gives the driver what he thinks is Will's address, fingers drumming against his knees. He had already lost one boy - he'll be damned if he loses another. He's known Will since college, known him to flirt exclusively with younger, unavailable men, many of them small in stature, snarky, quick-witted, strong-willed, all just like Ciel.

He curses beneath his breath, teeth grinding together. How could he be so stupid? His mind runs wild with fear: Will could be doing anything right now, to Ciel, to his boy, to his baby. He could have Ciel tied up in his basement, or could be fucking him while Ciel cried for Sebastian, tears streaming down his soft cheeks.

Sebastian's nails bite bloody half-moons into his palms. This is worse than when Ciel's father had shown up, when he had hit him only once. It is worse than their fight, when he had been awake for days, breathing in Ciel's scent and jacking off too often. He slips the driver a few crumbled bills when they pull up to a neat looking little villa,  _keep the change,_ and nearly falls out of the taxi as he scrambles to his feet, sprinting up the front door. 

"Will!" he shouts, banging on it so hard that his hand hurts, "open the fucking door!" He bangs harder, capillaries bursting beneath his skin, red blooming under white. "Open the goddamn door!" He's usually not like this - not violently aggressive, nor this explosive, but this is not a normal situation.  _This_ is practically life or death; this is his boy on the line, his Ciel. He continues to hit the door for what seems like hours, until it pulls open.

Will stands in the doorway, dressed in a robe that is tied sloppily at the waist. "You managed to get out," he murmurs, brows raised. "You're going to spoil our fun."

Heat blooms beneath Sebastian's skin as he charges through the front door, hand wrapped around Will's throat. "Where is he?" His fingers dig past the tendons in Will's neck, backing him up against a wall until they are nose to nose, Sebastian's teeth grinding and shift together. "Where is Ciel?" he asks again, voice dangerously low.

"Dunno," Will manages to get out, cheeks going scarlet. He's struggling to breathe now, stars dancing in his vision. His hands reach up to Sebastian's, clawing weakly when Sebastian tightens his grip, their chests nearly touching.

He releases his grip, allowing Will to fall to his knees. "Tell me where he is," Sebastian growls, grabbing Will by the front of the robe to pull him up on his feet before smashing his fist against his face, bones against bones making an awful sound. "Tell me where he is!" He hits Will again, again, again, until they are on the ground, Sebastian's knees pressed into Will's chest, blood splattered on his knuckles and on the floor.

Will gurgles, blood rising from somewhere in his mouth. His nose is probably broken, and Sebastian can't stop himself. He is going to kill Will. He can feel the jut of Will's cheekbone beneath his fist, the cartilage of his nose, the ridge of his eye socket. He can't stop. He keeps hitting, even when one of Will's teeth flies out of his mouth and skids across the floor. He can't stop. He keeps hitting even when tears stream down Will's face, when he weakly tries to shield his face from Sebastian's fists.

He stands, foot crashing into Will's ribs with an awful crunching sound. Will howls in pain, body twisting in pain, trying to squirm away, when Sebastian grabs him by the neck again, slamming his head forcefully into the tile floor, punching with reckless abandon. He kind of wants someone to happen upon them, to see Sebastian as the alpha that he is, wild-eyed and angry.

"He's mine," Sebastian practically yells, voice almost hoarse, knuckles red and raw, caked with blood, "hear me? I'm not going,"  _punch,_ "to lose him too!"

"Pl-please," Will manages to get out, blood speckling Sebastian's face when he speaks, bubbling past his lips. "I'll - I'll take you to him, so - please!" His hands slip weakly against Sebastian's wrists, dull nails snagging against his skin. "Please." Tears run down his face, mixing into the blood, trickling into his ears.

Sebastian sits on the ground, pushing his hair out of his face. He's out of breath, fists burning. He nods his head uselessly, body sore and impossibly heavy. "I just want my boy back," he murmurs, clenching his hands in rhythmic procession. "I just want him back." He stands, brushes himself off and then pulls Will off of the ground, a hand on the back of his neck, dominant, letting him know that, even exhausted and bloody, he is still in charge.

"He's upstairs," Will says weakly and with a lisp, wiping his wrist against his mouth. His right lateral incisor is missing, snapped clean off at the root. "I can just wait down here."

"Not a chance," Sebastian says, marching him up the stairs, like he's a marionettist and Will is his marionette. "Which door?" he asks when they get to the top step, greeted by a series of doors. Will motions weakly to the one at the end of the hall, and Sebastian pushes him forward, heart thundering in his chest. He can only imagine what Will has done to Ciel - and every image that his brain creates makes him want to  _really_ kill Will, to smash his face in until he can't breathe, to jump on his chest until his ribs crack and splinter beneath Sebastian's feet.

He takes a deep breath and pulls the door open, finally letting go of Will, allowing him to stand by the door. The room is dark and cool, curtains fluttering in the breeze that comes from the open window. Sebastian takes a step into the room, the bed illuminated by the light from the hallway, shining brightly on Ciel, who is curled up, undressed save for his little black boxers, his wrists and ankles red and irritated looking.

Sebastian drops to his knees at the side of the bed, pressing his fingers against Ciel's forehead, moving the younger male's bangs out of the way. "Baby?" he murmurs quietly, fingers curling behind Ciel's ear. "Ciel, baby? Wake up, please." His voice is soft and trembling, betraying the calm facade he had wanted to uphold upon seeing Ciel. He presses his forehead to Ciel's, eyes squeezed shut. "I love you," he murmurs, almost inaudibly, his bad hand clutched into a fist, useless in his lap.

Ciel stirs, blue eyes swirling in his head. He doesn't speak, just makes little soft, keying sounds, fingers grabbing out for Sebastian. He doesn't seem totally conscious, head lolling against the feather stuffed pillows. "Bastian," he babbles, tongue thick in his mouth, eyes traveling circuits in their sockets.

Sebastian's teeth come together, and he has half a mind to beat the shit out of Will for a second time, a real pulp, an amalgamation of blood, nerves, and broken bones, his fingers tightening on Will's limbs until they snap, his voice going hoarse when Sebastian rips his throat out with his teeth. But this is not just Will's fault. It's also his own fault - if he hadn't left Ciel alone, if he had paid better attention, his boy would not be here, half naked, hurting.

He dresses Ciel quietly, pushing his limbs into his clothes as gingerly as he can, and then pulls Ciel into his arms, cradling him against his chest. He would not let him get hurt again. He would not lose another love. Sebastian pushes past Will, Ciel's head tucked beneath his chest. "I should kill you for what you've done," he says quietly, fingers tight against Ciel's skin. "Don't bother us for the rest of the time we're here, if Ciel decides to stay. If I catch of sight of you, I'm going to kill you."

Will doesn't speak, merely limps out of the way, allowing Sebastian to walk out of the house and into the night, with only the moon to watch over them. He glances down at Ciel, chest tight. He'd never let anyone else hurt his boy, never. He makes a silent vow to protect Ciel from now until forever, even if, God forbid, they separate. He presses his lips against the top of Ciel's head, still standing on the empty sidewalk outside of Will's house.


End file.
